I play in an adult rec league where almost every game there are a few aggressive comments directed from one team towards the other. The thing I find ironic is that after the game both teams shake hands. I don't chirp the opposition, but if I did, I wouldn't shake hands with them after the game. Shaking hands demonstrates you are on good terms, which is not the case if a few innings ago you were yelling at each other. In none of these cases did players apologize or forgive each other. Why do people do hand shakes with people they just bad mouthed?
I guess my experience is different. I've played on the same team for the last 3 years. We've never had any problems with the other teams. One of our players owns a bar. Almost every game, win or lose, we invite the other team for beers. It's rec league. Have fun and relax.
aggressive people in rec leagues need a slap in the face.
Followed promptly with a handshakeOriginally Posted by cubsphill
I think that is what the hand shake IS for. The hand shake signifies, IMO, that the game is over and it is time to move on.
One of the great things about playing sports is that it should teach the players how to go all out during the course of the game but once it is over, it is over. I have seen it many times where good friends are the worst enemies during the game but afterwards, they laugh and joke and are freinds again. Tragically, it seems to me that more players, parents, fans, are taking these games (all sports) waaaay to serious and can not leave the game on the field once it is over.
IMO, if you can not "get over" what took place on the field by the time the handshaking is done, it might be time to reconcider playing.
My wood bat is bigger than your wood bat.
I got out of softball b/c of all the bickering like 12 year olds. The baseball league I play in is better, but the bickering still happens. Ticks me off b/c all I want to do it play and have fun.
See ball, hit ball.
Last summer we actually had a case close to my house where one player punched another in the back of the head during handshakes. The player that got hit died. The player that threw the punch was on parole at the time for an assault charge and was later convicted of criminally negligent homicide and sent back to prison.
The guy that threw the punch was recently back in court. Prosecutors are trying to have him labeled a "persistent felon." In N.Y. that's kind of like California's three strikes. If you're a persistent felon you can get life in prison with no parole.
Honestly, what are people thinking? It's rec league.
http://www.whec.com/news/stories/S975434.shtml
you might say this is bunk..but i am not a believer in the hand shake ga ga line...
as an assitant coach i never went into the gaga line...miss a hand slap and accidently hit a kid and you get sued...forget
it..
rec league has too many egos and beer muscles,,probably better off not if I had a choice
our high school wrestling team also does NOT shake hands after matches as well..the last thing a kid wants to do is go over to the opposing coach and shake his hand after he just got pinned...
Last edited by wogdoggy; 07-07-2009 at 12:52 PM.
Then when you do shake a persons hand they feel the need to squeeze it like the incredible hulk.Why can't you just go through the line and give a simple hand salute like George Goebel on the old Hollywood Squares to each other?
Wog, I'm confused... are you saying you do not shake the hands of your opponents after a game?
"He who dares to teach, must never cease to learn."
- John Cotton Dana (1856–1929) - Offered to many by L. Olson - Iowa (Teacher)
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the head coach did and the kid's did ..i thought that was a good enough representation...I never did so I was consistent throughout win or lose.
As a former head coach... I think you and I would have had a difference in philosophy. There are many lessons to teach in baseball. I am uncertain what NOT shaking an opponents hand in youth baseball teaches.
"He who dares to teach, must never cease to learn."
- John Cotton Dana (1856–1929) - Offered to many by L. Olson - Iowa (Teacher)
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I opted NOT to shake hands and be part of the ga ga line from day 1 ..the KIDS did the HEAD COACH did..I don't even think the kid's noticed or cared..and in retrospect probably saved myslef from some unecessary confrontations as well..
We must be very different people. With kids and young adults ... I never viewed it as a "ga-ga line" as it gave me the opportunity to teach the players - that win or lose we still need to be civil. Baseball is not the end all of life. Also in 40 seasons I (personally) never had a confrontation while hand shaking hands .... What could possibly happen there that would make you confront someone?
Last edited by Jake Patterson; 07-14-2009 at 11:36 AM.
"He who dares to teach, must never cease to learn."
- John Cotton Dana (1856–1929) - Offered to many by L. Olson - Iowa (Teacher)
Please read Baseball Fever Policy and Forum FAQ before posting.
Yeah, I guess I'm different too. Obviously during the game, you're opponents and have to be competitive, etc., but what is the harm in telling your opponent "good game" afterwards, win or lose.
Of course, when I'm coaching third for my 14U travel team, and a player makes a great play, or the pitcher sits my batters down 1-2-3, I tell them good job on the way to the bench at the end of the inning, maybe even give them a little "pound it" fist to fist or something. Why would I not congratulate a 14 year old for making a good play or pitching good (or hitting good, or whatever), just because he/she doesn't happen to be on MY team?
Don't get me wrong, I hate to lose as much or more than the next person, but I'm not gonna hold a grudge against someone just because they beat me fair and square. Now, if they are butts about it during the game or something, that could be different, but that is usually representative of their coaches, in my experience.
A guy died from getting punched in back of the head? Musta been a heck of a punch.
I played slowpitch for 17 years in a fairly competitive league, and only saw a few fights total, which I always thought a little surprising, but for the most part, the good players all respected each other. It was usually the young punks that tried to start fights, and it didn't take long for them to have trouble finding a team to play on.
I'm the same way. This season I had a parent ask "who are you rooting for?" My response was simply "the kids."
I did have a game where the opposing pitcher started by striking out the side in the first inning on 9 pitches. As he came off the field I passed within 5 feet of him and said "great job buddy." He never even turned to make eye contact or say thanks. I was pissed off and couldn't believe a 13 year old would be so rude to an adult. The next inning when the coach was giving him all kinds of weird signs I realized he was deaf. Ooops.
Apparently the guy that got hit had no idea it was coming and the guy that hit him had a running start.
No incidents while shaking hands in 40 years? That's pretty good: as a coach that is the only thing I watch out for during the hand shaking and I have had a few problems.
Hand shaking after a game is such a tradition that it will always be a part of sports. But I'm like Wog-I don't believe in it and i think it's too close to the end of the game (where I've found most incidents do occur) when emotions run the highest.
I'm just as competitive, if not more, than the next guy...but I'm confused about NOT shaking hands with the opposing team after a BASEBALL game. I'm not referring to other sports.
Win or lose, you can always use things as teaching moments for young boys on their way to becoming men.
I also have my guys, including coaches, always take their hats off when shaking hands...win or lose.
To me, it's a sign of respect.
It also teaches, at least my players, that win or lose, once it's over it's over.
I also make it a point to compliment opposing players on particular plays etc during the game.
Kids need to learn to COMPETE, then let it go. Once it's over, there is nothing you can do to change the outcome.
If two guys in the ring can beat the SNOT out of each other for an hour or more, and still tap gloves afterwards, then a baseball "ga ga" line shouldn't be that much of an ordeal.
Same as arguing calls. I questioned a call at first base the other night. It wasn't even close. The kid was safe by a mile. I asked the PU if I could get some help on that call. They conferred. The other teams' parents and coaches started yelling "call you game Blue" "don't be intimidated" etc etc. The Ump stood by his call. I said "Thank you" and turned to walk back to my dugout.
I heard some of our parents grumble, and of course a kid or two started to mumble about the call. I then addressed the team directly, loud enough for parents to hear...
"I never want to hear you complain about a call from an Umpire. My job as a coach is to deal with that for you. That's my job. Your job is to play the game. If you are perfect, and have never made a mistake, then please raise your hand and I'll let you argue the calls."
The kids got the message. Some of my parents got the message.
The PU made a positive comment to me after the game about what said.
You can DISAGREE with someone's decision, and still RESPECT that decision.
ctandc,
Very well said! There are a number of things I would love to said in/about this thread. but I seem to be unable to type the words in a way that I feel will not be offensive and still get my point across. Therefore, if you don't mind, I will simply say 'DITTO' to your remarks.
And there are people that still wonder why today's kids act the way they do. They follow the lead of the adults that are around them.
Unless your around youth football much you will have never heard of this guy but there is a youth football coach named Dave Potter who requires 5 of his kids take off their helmet and go shake hands and introduce themselves to all of the opposing coaches before each game. He actually practices his ga ga line. He teaches his kids how to shake hands look the other player in the eye and say good game. He won't even allow them to just give high fives they HAVE to shake hands. He coaches in one of the worst gang infested areas of this country with a high school graduation rate of less than 20%. His kids have over a 90% graduation rate.
Little things can make a HUGE difference in a child and their attitude. Shaking an opponents hand after any competition and telling him good game is one of those little things.
if the game is for the kids ? whats wrong with the KIDS shaking hands? I dont believe in it either BUT the kids did it..I wouldnt go off saying bull crap like "this is whats wrong with our society today"..please save that spiel... the boys shake hands, the games for the kids whats the problem? Should i line up the parents too? cmon.
Last edited by wogdoggy; 07-08-2009 at 09:32 PM.
Hmmm, maybe there's more than one reason that he's not all that happy with dad's attitude and conduct around the baseball field.
Open your eyes man, there's more to youth baseball than win/loss records and who's better than who . . .
Hmmm, maybe there's more than one reason that he's not all that happy with dad's attitude and conduct around the baseball field.
Open your eyes man, there's more to youth baseball than win/loss records and who's better than who . . .
hmmmm ...maybe there is but i certainly doubt its because i dont shake hands..if YOU my man have the absolute perfect relationship with your teeneager well then bless you my man...but the way you seem to "work" i doubt it.
goes to another board cuts and pastes a clip where i say my kid is frustrated in the cage with my instruction when it comes to HITTING ,,HITTING ,yes HITTING and correlates it with hand shakes and my relation ship with my kid...? lol
where does it even imply i said winning and records is what its all about? is that an assumption because me as an ASSISTANT coach opts out of the handshake line at the end of a game? bit of a stretch?
Last edited by wogdoggy; 07-09-2009 at 06:09 AM.
While I retain the right to disagree with Wogdoggy on the handshake line...I have to agree here.
My soon-to-be 13 year old is stubborn with me, just like I was with my old man at that age. In fact, my assistant and I essentially "Swap" kids during practice and games. My assistant, and several of the kids will tell my son the same exact thing I would, and he'll take that as gospel from them...just because it didn't come from Dad.
It's part of life and growing up. So when someone else relays the same thing I've been saying, and he tries and it works, I just roll with it and keep all my comments to myself.
Pick your battles.
It's still baseball. Now he knows what would happen if he started bringing home bad grades......
Not certain what any of this has to do with shaking hands after a game, but if I could indulge everyone for a minute....
If we all agree that at least a small part of our jobs as coaches of the game is about teaching youngsters life lessons... What lesson do you teach by NOT shaking hands. And maybe more important, what lesson do you teach your team when you send them off to shake hands and you do not?
If you had a Howie Mandel problem I could understand, but anything short of that seems self serving and makes the game about you.
There's nothing wrong with being a gentleman in the face of both defeat or victory. What's wrong with teaching that as a lesson?
"He who dares to teach, must never cease to learn."
- John Cotton Dana (1856–1929) - Offered to many by L. Olson - Iowa (Teacher)
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