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Advice from you coaches for this dad

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  • JettSixty
    replied
    The primary reasons players jump teams is overrating their talent, poor choices/lack of investigating team and more affordable. My son played for one program in post 7th, 8th and 9th for high school development and one program post soph and junior year for college exposure.

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  • Coach T13
    replied
    Originally posted by sparkny2 View Post
    If your kid has the opportunity to play for one team until HS or beyond, that is great. The reality is many kids team hop for a lot of reasons. My 14 yo rising soph son is getting used to the mercernary aspect of summer ball. I told him HS ball you play for the team, summer you will play for exposure. Big difference in approach and attitude.
    Finding 100% TRUTH in all above^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Nice breakdown!!

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  • sparkny2
    replied
    If your kid has the opportunity to play for one team until HS or beyond, that is great. The reality is many kids team hop for a lot of reasons. My 14 yo rising soph son is getting used to the mercernary aspect of summer ball. I told him HS ball you play for the team, summer you will play for exposure. Big difference in approach and attitude.

    Leave a comment:


  • sparkny2
    replied
    Having your kid address those "PT issues" with coach is a great way to get them started on their path to independence. No matter the outcome, he will be a better person for doing it.

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  • JettSixty
    replied
    Originally posted by songtitle View Post
    When they go off to college, they will throw away most of their old trophies and will hardly be able to remember who their coaches and teammates were from youth ball.

    Most of the details aren't important at all. Make sure they are learning each year and they are good at some position by the time they reach HS (which probably won't be the position they played in youth).
    Every right hander on my son’s high school varsity started as a rec ball P/SS. Almost every player on his 17u travel team was a P, C, SS, or CF on his high school team.

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  • songtitle
    replied
    When they go off to college, they will throw away most of their old trophies and will hardly be able to remember who their coaches and teammates were from youth ball.

    Most of the details aren't important at all. Make sure they are learning each year and they are good at some position by the time they reach HS (which probably won't be the position they played in youth).

    Leave a comment:


  • stranded1
    replied
    Originally posted by dragoncoach View Post

    Reminiscing here... So the coach I described in this is not coaching anymore. After 1.5 seasons of this (fall, spring, fall), we bolted. The team ended up falling apart and the cleanup hitter and leadoff hitter followed us to a different team. All 3 had a blast this year. One of the dads that joined us - most knowledgable baseball dad on the team who usually doesn't say controversial things - has told me and my family and others multiple times that he's surprised we stayed as long as we did.
    Glad it worked out for you in the end.

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  • dragoncoach
    replied
    Originally posted by mattun View Post
    Maybe it's time to see if the cleanup hitter's dad wants to come along with you to join another team.
    Reminiscing here... So the coach I described in this is not coaching anymore. After 1.5 seasons of this (fall, spring, fall), we bolted. The team ended up falling apart and the cleanup hitter and leadoff hitter followed us to a different team. All 3 had a blast this year. One of the dads that joined us - most knowledgable baseball dad on the team who usually doesn't say controversial things - has told me and my family and others multiple times that he's surprised we stayed as long as we did.

    Leave a comment:


  • FP26
    replied
    Originally posted by mattun View Post
    I'm pretty sure the kid asking is way more effective than the dad asking. Way back in 10U kid pitch, a dad had fairly rose colored glasses and had been feeling competitive with my kid since T-ball for whatever reason. So he had his kid go and ask the coach to play both my kid's most common starting position and spot in the order (what a surprise) based on his keen batting eye for walks and desire to get better on defense with more opportunities... uh huh. Maybe it doesn't work as well with a 12 year old on a competitive team as a 9 year old, but the coach told my wife after "What am I gonna do? It's rec and he asked."
    Sometimes what the kid wants and what the parents want is completely different. In 12u rec softball I tried to rotate all of our players between infield and outfield. One girl in particular didn't seem to like any of the infield positions, but found a home in center field. She liked it and did well at it. Her mom came to me after one of the games complaining that Veronica wanted to play infield. I knew that wasn't the case. For the next game I started her at 2nd base. After two innings at 2nd base, Veronica requested to go back to center. I asked her to start the next inning at 2nd base and then I would switch her. Our team recorded one out. I walked out of the dugout and said "do you still want to move back to center" loud enough so the parents in the stands could hear me. She replied "yes please". Her mom never complained about it again.

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  • mattun
    replied
    I'm pretty sure the kid asking is way more effective than the dad asking. Way back in 10U kid pitch, a dad had fairly rose colored glasses and had been feeling competitive with my kid since T-ball for whatever reason. So he had his kid go and ask the coach to play both my kid's most common starting position and spot in the order (what a surprise) based on his keen batting eye for walks and desire to get better on defense with more opportunities... uh huh. Maybe it doesn't work as well with a 12 year old on a competitive team as a 9 year old, but the coach told my wife after "What am I gonna do? It's rec and he asked."

    Leave a comment:


  • sunderB
    replied
    Originally posted by dragoncoach View Post


    Its 12u. Fully competitive. All tourneys, no league. First tournament, the coach told the boys hed bat them according to their performance. My son feels cheated.
    At the end of the day, be thankful he is in the lineup everyday. Plenty kids that aren't getting that opportunity on teams across the country and may be deserving as well. I agree with what others have said that the position in the order is typically more ego driven.

    But if your son truly feels cheated, I think he is old enough to approach the coach about it himself. He may have to be coached by you on how to approach the coach, but I would let him do it on his own. He has to pose his questions correctly and most reasonable coaches will appreciate that the kid was mature enough to come to him on his own and will likely be honest with him. There is a big difference in a coaches ears between "Why am I not batting at the top of the lineup" vs "What can I do further to earn a spot nearer the top of the lineup? You mentioned to the team that the lineup would be based on performance, and I have been working hard to try to earn my way to a higher spot in the order." Keep it positive, keep it team oriented such as "I want to be able to be able to be in position to better help the team win".

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  • johnlanza
    replied
    Originally posted by dragoncoach View Post
    I never found the ball - it went deep into the woods unfortunately.
    Com'on Man! - You gotta go back in those woods and find that ball!

    Originally posted by dragoncoach View Post
    In the second inning - up 1-0, my son jacked a homer so hard that pretty much the entire crowd knew it was gone the moment he hit it.
    We lost in the championship game. My son was sitting on deck or in the hole when quite a few rallies ended.
    I will say that I understand the frustration/disappointment of the batting order that you've mentioned in this thread. But if your son was hitting higher in the lineup, would he have had the same opportunity to crush that HR? Hitters gonna hit. No doubt about it. But maybe they would have pitched to him differently, and then he never would have created that HR memory.
    Keep going strong, and keep being a proud dad.

    Leave a comment:


  • pthawaii
    replied
    Personally, if the coach is a decent coach, I give them slack on the daddy bias. I don't pretend it's not there (that's harder for me to do), I acknowledge it's there and then accept it. Coach is volunteering 10-15 hrs a week helping a team of players practice, play games and generally develop and have fun. Often coaches spend their own money on top of all that. So at the rate coaches get paid, if they want to bat their kid up a few spots in the lineup, no biggy to me. Granted, it's really painful when you lose games due to it, strand runners etc. but in the end, given what the coach gets paid, you're getting a deal and the problem will go away too when he starts school ball. To be honest though, if I were you I'd want to share/vent with someone as well, because as a coach you always want to strategize to win and it's painful to see coaching decisions that cause you to loose. I'm the same way.

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  • mattun
    replied
    Originally posted by dragoncoach View Post

    This is good input. Maybe there is some of this going on.
    He could easily be just worried he'll further depress his kid if he drops him in the lineup. If you like the coach other than the lineup stuff, you might be wary of his kid getting frustrated with baseball and wanting to quit... because there goes your coach too.

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  • mattun
    replied
    Maybe it's time to see if the cleanup hitter's dad wants to come along with you to join another team.

    Leave a comment:

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