Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Parental Demands

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Parental Demands

    In your baseball experience is it common for parents to make demands to the head coach such as my son better play SS or we're going to a different team? Word got back to me that this happened on my son's team and I didn't want to believe it, but evidence appears to be supporting this. Sad to think our coach caved.
    "Whata crowd, whata crowd! I tell ya, I'm all right now but last week I was in rough shape..."

  • #2
    Originally posted by Wally Gator View Post
    In your baseball experience is it common for parents to make demands to the head coach such as my son better play SS or we're going to a different team? Word got back to me that this happened on my son's team and I didn't want to believe it, but evidence appears to be supporting this. Sad to think our coach caved.
    Hasn't been common in my experience, but I have seen it happen.

    Also had it happen to me as a coach but for the flip reason - did NOT want his son to pitch yet. This was rec league and I was working with all the players to teach them how to pitch. There was this one player who missed most practices but was athletically talented. His dad was a former NFL player (yes, really). He was one of the most difficult parents I've ever had to deal with - often late, rarely communicated (never knew if his kid would show up to a game), etc.

    So I had this one weekend where many of my pitchers performed poorly and on Day 2 we simply ran out of pitchers. I started warming up his kid in the bullpen, trying to get him to be able to throw strikes. I knew he was probably not quite ready yet and I had a couple other players like that so I was going to trying warming them up one by one until I could get one to the point of throwing enough strikes. Well when I started warming up the son of the pro football player, his Dad comes over to me, all 220 menacing pounds of him - and makes it VERY clear to me that I am NOT pitching his son, because he isn't ready. I did not cave in to him - I told him I'm the coach, and I'm working with him, and I might or might not pitch him. But we were out of pitchers so I was definitely going to pitch someone who was probably not quite ready. He was very angry, but so was I.

    In the end, I did not pitch him. I pitched two other guys - one who did reasonably well, the other who did not. The other coach was kind enough that after a while of the guy who couldn't throw strikes, he instructed his kids to swing at anything that was within 1 foot of the strike zone!

    I remember that game well, and yes, I remember quite well that pro football player. I have seen so many posts here about how typically the most reasonable parents are the ones who have played at the college level or higher in a sport. Maybe so - but not this guy.

    Comment


    • #3
      About two years ago at 10u I had a kid who was maybe our third string catcher, that only wanted to catch.
      At 10u I moved kids around and he played catcher, second base, outfield and pitched sometimes. He played every game and only sat the bench maybe 2-3 innings every other game (everyone played pretty evenly at this age).
      About half way through the season he and his mom come to me and very politely tell me that he wants to just catch and catch more often. I explained that we had a couple of other catchers who were better, but also didn't understand because he caught a full game just about every third game. I explained that we had other catchers who did well and we still needed him in other areas as he was good in those positions.

      He said that he did not want to play unless the only position he played was catcher. I explained to him and his mom that I couldn't do that as that would mean our other catchers couldn't catch and they were a little better. They played one more game then quit the team.

      Comment


      • #4
        Been happening for a very long time. When BB was playing 1st year 12U, we were about to play in the championship game of a huge tournament called "The Bragging Rights." The top teams from Missouri and Illinois used to butt heads in this tournament. As we were headed to the diamond, one of the dads came over and told our HC that his daughter was going to pitch the championship game or they were not leaving the parking lot. An argument started and, long story short, my daughter pitched the championship game which we won. That guy's daughter played for so many teams I wouldn't have enough space on the internet to list them all. Once this starts, if your coach doesn't put a stop to it, it will destroy your team.
        Granny said Sonny stick to your guns if you believe in something no matter what. Because it's better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for who you're not.

        I am an ex expert. I've done this long enough to know that those who think that they know it all, know nothing.

        Comment


        • #5
          "I remember that game well, and yes, I remember quite well that pro football player. I have seen so many posts here about how typically the most reasonable parents are the ones who have played at the college level or higher in a sport. Maybe so - but not this guy."

          [/QUOTE]

          Reminded me of my college summer job at a country club. Many Mafia members who were polite to the crew. One Detroit Red Wing member who complained every round about something.
          Last edited by Wally Gator; 07-10-2018, 06:44 PM.
          "Whata crowd, whata crowd! I tell ya, I'm all right now but last week I was in rough shape..."

          Comment


          • #6
            Yep, not often but I had it happen to me when I was coaching TB. For instance, parent didn't believe his son was getting enough time at F2, we talked about it, and I explained our reasonings to the best of my ability as to why we needed to play his son where we were (very good ball player who could handle just about ever position on the field), and that we were trying to get him back there as much as we could (he was one of several very capable players we had on the team who could play the position w/o us ever having to worry about any of them).

            He was also one of our pitchers (that he, and his parents wanted to be on the mound also), so because of pitching rotations, pitch counts, and arm care I also explained that we didn't want to of use him in both of those two positions on the same day. Dad didn't think there was a problem with him pitching and catching on the same day in tournament play (not in the same game, but subsequent games the same day), something that we didn't agree on, and since I was making the lineup card, he would either pitch or catch in a particular day but not both, and get to play the other position the next day if we felt comfortable with what we determined to be his arm "workload" the day(s) before.

            As I said, dad didn't agree with that, and after several cordial discussions wrt it, told me his son was going to play on another team, and I wished them both well...and held no hard feelings....we always had other players on a waiting list, so didn't really hurt us one way or the other.

            That's the only one I really remember the details of, but did have one or two others who I remember the parent come up, complain about something, I'd try to explain our thoughts/positions on the matter which I guess wasn't good enough for them, and we never saw the kid again. Again, no skin off our nose, we'd just make a phone call or two to a kid or two on the list, and move on w/o blinking an eye.

            Never happened at the HS for obvious reasons. OK, one grandparent come up to me one time kind of POed, as the only one to ever say anything to me at the HS, and ask me, "How come Anthony's not hitting anymore?"....I simple replied, "I don't know, but I wish he'd get it figured out sooner than later, because I'd like to get him back in the batting order as soon as he does". He just look at me kind of dumbfounded lost for words, and finally said, "Oh OK thanks, I'll talk to him about it"...and that was that. Never heard from him again. =)
            Last edited by mudvnine; 07-10-2018, 06:41 PM.
            In memory of "Catchingcoach" - Dave Weaver: February 28, 1955 - June 17, 2011

            Comment


            • #7
              "Once this starts, if your coach doesn't put a stop to it, it will destroy your team."
              That's what I was thinking. Eventually the line-up will be by committee.
              "Whata crowd, whata crowd! I tell ya, I'm all right now but last week I was in rough shape..."

              Comment


              • #8
                It happened twice in 13u and once when I was making the 14u roster.

                1) I never should have picked the kid. It was a favor to the parents. I figured he could get enough time in left to be happy. The mother cornered me about him playing infield. The father got in my face at the next game. I had explained the kid’s weakness to mom. The kid was weak armed and hit .170 in USSSA Majors. He didn’t return the next season.

                2) Kid was a good pitcher. He had a live arm. He pitched in high school in a large conference high school. He was too slow on the big field to play in the middle. His mother bugged me about him playing short or center. One day she mistook “I’ll try to get him in center” with “I’ll play him in center.” When she came in the dugout to complain it was strike one for the kid. The kid’s behavior was strike two (second time not running out a pop up) and strike three (telling me it was f’n BS when I benched him for not running out the second pop up).

                3) This kid did end up being the shortstop for his high school, played college ball and was drafted. His father knew I had three roster spots for 14u. He told me his son would play for me if I would guarantee he plays short. I told him I already had a great shortstop. Told him I would love to have him at third. He joined the team.

                When this kid played third and my son played second we had an unreal infield. All three went on to be large high school all conference shortstops and played college ball.

                i know the high school coach dealt with it when he was new. I heard parents say,”I had a talk with the coach.” The next season in the parent’s meeting the coach said he thought parents begging for their kid’s playing time ended with LL. His next sentence began with, “Let me be absolutely clear ....”
                Last edited by JettSixty; 07-10-2018, 08:01 PM.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Don't coach but the first day of practice for my daughter with her current 10U TB team, her and the coach's kid were sharing reps at SS and the kid tells my daughter that this is her position and that my daughter wouldn't be playing it..

                  Does that count? ; )
                  Last edited by pattar; 07-10-2018, 08:23 PM.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by pattar View Post
                    Don't coach but the first day of practice for my daughter with her current 10U TB team, her and the coach's kid were sharing reps at SS and the kid tells my daughter that this is her position and that my daughter wouldn't be playing it..

                    Does that count? ; )

                    Tell your daughter to play 3B and poach every ground ball in the hole — cut in front of Missy Shortstop.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by StarStar00 View Post


                      Tell your daughter to play 3B and poach every ground ball in the hole — cut in front of Missy Shortstop.
                      She plays second for the most part and SS every so often. I don't really care at this point..she is 8. I figure it will work itself out.

                      The coach's kid is a real pain in the arse though..randomly pushes my kid, tosses dirt on her for no reason, etc. Typical girl bullying stuff. My daughter is pretty chill about it although last time she did it I saw my daughter give her a shove back...can't say I was too upset. I was a hothead growing up, and still am to some degree, and if I had been in my daughter's shoes this wouldn't have ended well.
                      Last edited by pattar; 07-11-2018, 05:30 AM.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        On my son's 3-4 year youth team, I can think of only one parent demand/request to play a specific position. That was shut down pretty quick. Coach said he will get his share of innings there, but I don't promise anyone anything, I move them around to prepare them, and you can accept that or move on. They accepted their role. He just had to draw the line.

                        When I was one of 3 coaches at the 13U level, we had one set of parents that came to us coaches and wanted their son to play C. They had spent a nice little chunk of change on catching camps, specific training/instruction. He wasn't a C (or rather not a good one) then or now, and his position in HS ball confirms that, he is playing exactly where we had him for a majority of innings. We told him while he would get some innings back there (and lots of innings at other positions), the bulk would go to 2 other kids, who ironically had no formal training back there, they were just better. We told them no hard feeling if they chose to move on, and they did. I still see them a couple times a year in HS ball, and there are no hard feelings, I consider them friends, I'm positive they would say the same. Good folks, but they threw alot of money down the drain trying to groom their son into something he wasn't going to become. I place a majority of the blame on the instructor they were taking him to. He knew better, he caught at the college level. He was telling them the things that they wanted to hear and keeping the check rolling.
                        Ty Cobb-"Every great batter works on the theory that the pitcher is more afraid of him than he is of the pitcher."

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          "When I was one of 3 coaches at the 13U level, we had one set of parents that came to us coaches and wanted their son to play C. They had spent a nice little chunk of change on catching camps, specific training/instruction. He wasn't a C (or rather not a good one) then or now, and his position in HS ball confirms that, he is playing exactly where we had him for a majority of innings."

                          You would think that if someone had spent all that money and if their son was talented that they would not have to tell you he is a catcher. Hopefully his skill level and high level would show through and he would be your best option by his play on the field. Maybe that was why they felt they needed to come to talk to you about it.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by pattar View Post
                            Don't coach but the first day of practice for my daughter with her current 10U TB team, her and the coach's kid were sharing reps at SS and the kid tells my daughter that this is her position and that my daughter wouldn't be playing it..

                            Does that count? ; )
                            Heard a story kinda like from a mom that left the team recently. When we joined the team (along with another kid), she said that SS and 3B were the coaches' kids' positions and nobody else gets to play them. Her son was also an infielder at the time. The two new kids have pretty much started the left side of the infield for the past three years and her kid was bumped from 2B to OF/third string C duty until finally bailing when even C time dried up.
                            Last edited by mattun; 07-11-2018, 09:01 AM.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I've said this before. There was a dad who told our HS coach that his stud kid will play SS. The coach told him that he'd play center field for his team. The dad moved his kid to another school to play SS. He went to a SEC school and plays center field for them.

                              Comment

                              Ad Widget

                              Collapse
                              Working...
                              X