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  • Quitting a team mid season

    My son wants to quit his team, it’s his first season with this organization and he doesn’t like the coaching. He’s probably in the top three on this team and they keep wanting to change his mechanics even though he is really successful. He guest plays for a different team that he enjoys much better and wants to play more for them, but is limited by his commitment to the first team. I’ve been encouraging him to finish it out with the team he agreed to play on, but he doesn’t want to be there and isn’t putting forth much effort.

  • #2
    Sounds like he's already quit. Sad!

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    • #3
      This falls on you. You drive him to practices and tournaments. You as a parent should teach commitments and following through. Finish it out and move on, UNLESS there's an issue of abuse/etc.

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      • #4
        You have the opportunity to teach him about commitment or quitting. Whichever he chooses becomes easier to do next time. Everything gets easier with practice.

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        • #5
          Tell him he should not be wasting time playing competitive games during late summer, Fall and Winter anyways because it perturbs correct training opportunities that put him way behind where he could have been physically and motorly.

          I told my step son he could only quit, if he surfed more!!
          Primum non nocere

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          • #6
            Originally posted by mobius75 View Post
            My son wants to quit his team, it’s his first season with this organization and he doesn’t like the coaching. He’s probably in the top three on this team and they keep wanting to change his mechanics even though he is really successful. He guest plays for a different team that he enjoys much better and wants to play more for them, but is limited by his commitment to the first team. I’ve been encouraging him to finish it out with the team he agreed to play on, but he doesn’t want to be there and isn’t putting forth much effort.
            First, I understand how tough this is. Being a parent isn't easy. While we can all give our opinions, you have to trust your gut. Yes, I'm a huge believer in that immeasurable thing called "gut." Listen, I have never been one to quit. I had a player quit my girl's golf team this year and it cost us our conference championship. It was my last chance to win conference and we beat the eventual champion with her on our team by several strokes. Still, I'm glad she quit. She wanted to be playing soccer with her select team. She is better at golf. Now, she can play soccer all she wants. I will say this and I wish I were a better person and I have not mislead anyone on this site that I am a good person at all, I can't look at her without thinking that she quit.

            From your post, you already know the answer. Let your son quit and play with the team he enjoys playing with. However, I will say this, be careful of human nature. Human nature say quit when things are too hard. It dictates that one quit when they have to work harder than they want. It demands less effort. When your son wants to quit the next team, you'll know why. Human nature.
            Granny said Sonny stick to your guns if you believe in something no matter what. Because it's better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for who you're not.

            I am an ex expert. I've done this long enough to know that those who think that they know it all, know nothing.

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            • #7
              How old is your son?
              Sent from my mobile device... probably while driving...

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              • #8
                I have been pondering this off and on all day. When it comes to quitting, I could see 3 factors at play in making a "stay or go" decision: 1) As others have said, honoring your commitment. But then there is 2) Developing as a player and 3) Having fun. Ideally, young players will be on a team and in a situation where they cover all of the above. But think about it, would you really want to force a kid to stay committed to 1 if 2 and 3 are not happening? Time is precious. And depending on the age, the wrong situation has the possibility of being kind of destructive. E.g., if the kid is buried on the bench and has the opportunity to play early and often somewhere else, why shackle him? You don’t want to be a quitter. I get that. But... if the team won’t miss him and the coaches don’t care and he has a better place to play ... guess I “might” not hold it against a kid too, too much in that one situation. If it will hurt the team, forget what I wrote - haha.

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                • #9
                  Nope, you committed; you stick it out. There's so much more at stake here than BB. Life is full of things you would rather walk away from but have no choice. The earlier you learn to deal with this type of adversity, the better. As mentioned above- abuse is a different matter.
                  Put your junk in your pocket!

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                  • #10
                    You only quit a team midseason if there is something really egregious going on where it would be bad parenting to allow your son to remain. Otherwise, you ride it out, take the high road, and then leave at the end of the season.

                    I was in this spot with my son in the fall season when he was 9 years old. He finished out the season and then was on a new team the spring of his 10u season. It was a million times better.

                    The good thing about it? It was a life lesson. To this day, I say that fall 9u situation was a good thing because it gives you perspective to appreciate when you have something good.

                    Good luck to your son next season.
                    Coaching experience: Managed 5 Little League teams and coached on 4 others. So, what do I know?

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                    • #11
                      Sometimes kids can have success with less-than-ideal mechanics. A good coach will always teach for success at the next level. Unless you are 100% that the coach is dead-wrong, I'd have a conversation with your son about accepting their advice.

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                      • #12
                        Isn't the best day to cut loose a bad investment the first day you determine it's a bad investment? I get commitment, but shouldn't it just be commitment to playing the sport and not sticking with a crappy coach? Like I think I've been both ends of this. We've been with the same travel baseball coach since 8U and my kid doesn't even want to guest play elsewhere even when things are going bad. On the other hand, we tried travel basketball and the coach and organization was a joke. He got a concussion that basically took him out for a month until the start of the school basketball season allowing us to gracefully leave the team (we had told the coach that we would leave at least temporarily when school started and baseball was our priority regardless when we joined), but I wouldn't have have hesitated to leave that team injury or not if my kid complained about wanting out. If he suddenly got mopey about his baseball team and wanted to play video games instead, that would be another story.

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                        • #13
                          I would assess the situation before deciding to quit mid-season. There are definitely circumstances where I would be completely fine with quitting mid-season. I agree it can be a good lesson to stick the situation out, however it could also be a bad lesson. People should realize that quitting is often the best decision in many circumstances. Sticking out something bad is not in and of itself a good decision. It really is situationally dependent and you need to assess the prospect of leaving vs staying. I think it's bad advice to suggest that you stay only because you committed.

                          I think teaching a kid to recognize a bad situation and to get as far away from it as fast as possible is a much better lesson than "stick out everything you start no matter how much you hate it"
                          Last edited by andre8; 10-01-2018, 01:13 PM.

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                          • #14
                            I think staying for the sake of riding out a commitment is a waste of time. If your son is not invested in playing for the team, it does no one any good. I am assuming that you would be moving on after the season is over, so let the coaching staff know your feelings and let them make the adjustments they need now. Not doing so will just lead to frustrations for your son and leave the team in worse shape overall.

                            If the major issue is the change in mechanics, also make sure that this is known. If the coaches feel that he is as successful as you think he is, they should have no problem with a status quo as far as mechanics. If they disagree with you on the status of your son's mechanics, it is best to not have your son be in a situation where you think the change is detrimental.

                            Quitting because the grass is greener on the other side of the fence should not be condoned. But moving on from a bad situation is a good life lesson.

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                            • #15
                              I let my kid quit a team mid season when he was 10u. One day he said he couldn't play because his arm hurt. I suspected his arm did not hurt.

                              The hired coaches had already quit. They were having trouble with the difficult Dad/team manager that had hired them. The Dad/Manager took over as coach. In my opinion he was way too hard on the kids, called them retards etc and frequently lost his temper. My kid just wasn't enjoying it at all even though he was performing really well.

                              The posters situation is different but quitting doesn't necessarily turn one into a habitual quitter. It's 6 years later and that's the only team my kid has quit.

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