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  • Presumptuous H.S. Parents

    I was talking to a buddy and he told me this story. I still get blown away from this stuff!

    His son is a freshmen baseball player. (That’s how I know him. Our kids played on the same travel team when they were 11U.)

    His son’s school has tryouts in February 2019 for the 2019 spring season. And, the school has a new head coach – completely new to the program. So, it’s like the thing is starting from jump street in 2019.

    He (the dad) gets an email from the school baseball booster club. It’s being sent from a mother of player who was on JV last year as a sophomore. And, it’s detailing all the fund raising events that she and another mother (of another kid who was on JV as a sophomore last year) have lined up between now and next March. He asked me if he should do anything about it.

    His take: It’s months before tryouts and he doesn’t even know if his son has made the team. So, wouldn’t it be presumptuous of him to get involved with being “part of the club” and being part of this fund-raising stuff now? Further, how do these mothers even know their kids will be on the team? From what he’s heard, they were not full time players on JV last year.

    I told him that’s the point. These kids are bubble kids as new juniors and their parents are trying to make a big splash with the new coach before the season starts and show that they are so valuable to have around. My recommendation to him was: If you think your kid will make the team based on his talent, sit quietly for now and wait until tryouts. And, THEN, after he makes the team, do any and all of the fundraising that you want, etc. Do some, do none, do it all…whatever you feel is the right thing to do. But, for now, don’t be one of those presumptuous and calculating parents. And, don’t help them in their attempts to gain their kids some early favor. Those mothers are just using you to make themselves look good.

    Am I wrong here? What would you have told him?
    Coaching experience: Managed 5 Little League teams and coached on 4 others. So, what do I know?

  • #2
    I don't answer the call for normal school findraisers and voluntering, i will wait until sophmore year or hopefully wife will do the volunteer work. So definitely do not do it for a team your kid may not make.

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    • #3
      If it comes from a parent, ignore it.

      If it comes from the HC, I'd presume that my kid had a legitimate chance to make the team, and I'd do my part.

      Our HS program recently had a small fundraiser, but the only kids/parents that were asked to be involved were returning players from last year (MS, JV, and V).

      It also depends on the type of fundraiser for me to get involved. I never got involved in the cookie dough/make your own pizza/candy bar/etc junk. I'd hand the coach a bit of cash for my part, tell him what it was for and why, and be done. I hate selling crap that nobody wants or feels obligated to buy, it's not a good or productive use of my time. If it was manning the concession stand for other sports or MS/JV baseball, helping when occasionally our HS field was used for a tournament, things of that nature, chief jr and I would always both be there.
      Ty Cobb-"Every great batter works on the theory that the pitcher is more afraid of him than he is of the pitcher."

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      • #4
        i would do the minimum to stay involved in that sort of stuff if i don't know whether or not it really matters.

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        • #5
          We had to do a fundraiser for our baseball team, and my kid has to tryout again in December (they had Spring tryouts for the Summer and Fall). I did it, as it was expected, and we already got something from the team (summer and fall workouts).

          For football, the head of fundraising has one kid who quite football, and another who is buried on the depth chart. He is a good guy, and just likes doing that stuff (he has since Jr. High, and his kids where never the top players). Sometimes, people want to get involved, and a good coach will thank them for that, but still put together the best team they can.

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          • #6
            There were some moms who put on a golf tournament and various other fundraising events for one of the local high school basketball team. Lots of work. A few weeks later both of their sons were cut from basketball tryouts.

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            • #7
              As an FYI, when I was the HC, I never wanted to talk to parents and didn't have a clue as to who did what in the booster club. Now as an AC, I still don't know and still don't care.
              Granny said Sonny stick to your guns if you believe in something no matter what. Because it's better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for who you're not.

              I am an ex expert. I've done this long enough to know that those who think that they know it all, know nothing.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Colonel21 View Post
                There were some moms who put on a golf tournament and various other fundraising events for one of the local high school basketball team. Lots of work. A few weeks later both of their sons were cut from basketball tryouts.
                I saw this at our HS with baseball a few years back. The mom was HEAVY on beating the drum on fundraiser stuff when her son was on freshmen baseball. He got cut the next season. And, POOF! you never heard from her again.
                Coaching experience: Managed 5 Little League teams and coached on 4 others. So, what do I know?

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                • #9
                  I wouldn’t be too quick to blow it off unless you know your kid is a stud. We have a lot of small town politics and I would start off on the right foot so long as the fundraising isn’t a major impact on your time or money.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Cannonball View Post
                    As an FYI, when I was the HC, I never wanted to talk to parents and didn't have a clue as to who did what in the booster club. Now as an AC, I still don't know and still don't care.
                    Bingo! DD played for a small school softball program. 18 total players between V and JV combined. Some played both. The coach often talked to the booster President to make sure that everything was in order. After all, the program relies on funding that is somewhat created by the boosters. But beyond that the coaching staff does not get involved at all. So if one parent does a bunch of extra work and another does nothing, the coach has no idea.
                    "Once you stop learning, you start dying" -- Albert Einstein.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by chief2791 View Post
                      If it comes from a parent, ignore it.

                      If it comes from the HC, I'd presume that my kid had a legitimate chance to make the team, and I'd do my part.

                      Our HS program recently had a small fundraiser, but the only kids/parents that were asked to be involved were returning players from last year (MS, JV, and V).

                      It also depends on the type of fundraiser for me to get involved. I never got involved in the cookie dough/make your own pizza/candy bar/etc junk. I'd hand the coach a bit of cash for my part, tell him what it was for and why, and be done. I hate selling crap that nobody wants or feels obligated to buy, it's not a good or productive use of my time. If it was manning the concession stand for other sports or MS/JV baseball, helping when occasionally our HS field was used for a tournament, things of that nature, chief jr and I would always both be there.
                      Originally posted by Cannonball View Post
                      As an FYI, when I was the HC, I never wanted to talk to parents and didn't have a clue as to who did what in the booster club. Now as an AC, I still don't know and still don't care.
                      ^^^^ These....+1 ^^^^



                      In memory of "Catchingcoach" - Dave Weaver: February 28, 1955 - June 17, 2011

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                      • #12
                        This is an interesting discussion. This is my first go-round with HS ball (oldest boy is a 2022) and it is expected that ALL players trying out for baseball participate in fundraising here....fundraising that has already started this fall. It is led by the baseball booster club but the head coach is involved as well. It has been this way for years. Yes, there will be players who fundraise during the fall who get cut in the spring. Here that is just considered "part of the deal".

                        Now the problem, of course, is that some don't participate (they either don't know they are supposed to or simply choose not to) with seemingly no consequence. All players are expected to either a) sell a certain # of the product, or b) "buyout" of the fundraiser at a cost somewhere > $100. Many families are doing one or the other. But what about those families/player who just ignore it? Will their player have a harder time making a team in the program? I have no idea. All I know is that fundraising is positioned as a requirement for all who plan to try out each season and it starts in the fall.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by TheSummerMe View Post
                          ..fundraising....by the baseball booster club but the head coach is involved as well. .... Yes, there will be players who fundraise during the fall who get cut in the spring. Here that is just considered "part of the deal".

                          Now the problem, of course, is that some don't participate (they either don't know they are supposed to or simply choose not to) with seemingly no consequence. All players are expected to either a) sell a certain # of the product, or b) "buyout" of the fundraiser at a cost somewhere > $100. Many families are doing one or the other. But what about those families/player who just ignore it? Will their player have a harder time making a team in the program? I have no idea. All I know is that fundraising is positioned as a requirement for all who plan to try out each season and it starts in the fall.
                          This stinks.
                          In this case, it would be better if there were no fundraising and they played in threadbare uniforms, etc.

                          The fundraising scenario described in the above post will corrode trust. An optimal community (for instance, a school is a community) prioritizes trust and draws strength from it.



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                          • #14
                            Some mom's on my sons ms team are doing this type of stuff. Their kids are both not not only below average but imo should not have even made the team. Last year they were both not only on the team but were allowed to play quite a bit. I always asked myself "why are these two ever seeing the field?" I guess the mom's brown nosing bought them some playing time. I hate it because there were a couple of better kids that didn't make the team and also they are both major liabilities when in the line up or on the field.

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                            • #15
                              All booster activities at our high school were initiated by varsity coaches and run through the AD’s office. The school wanted to make sure state athletic association rules would not be broken. While a parent may have taken charge of a project everything initiated through the varsity coach. No kids, or their families who had not yet made the program (freshmen before tryouts) at some level were asked to participate.

                              I don’t recollect any player benefitting by their parent being in charge of a project or donating more than other parents. I do recollect some mothers bitching their son didn’t benefit.

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