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HELP: Angry Coach or Angry Parent !

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  • T Dot
    replied
    UPDATE: I have toned down the amount we practiced, and toned down what we try to improve on. I am trying my hardest to make it just a game again for him and me. It is working! He is being a kid and enjoying baseball. He is still the best on the team IMHO, and we are probably going to play 1 to 2 years up next year.

    I think we will end up practicing only in the colder months, and just 'play' in the warmer months.

    Leave a comment:


  • Modal94
    replied
    I see this as an assistant coach. I'm lost for words and don't say a single thing but man, it's only a rec league, not even travel ball. I'm too young to have a child, but it does put in perspective that if I did, I would want them to succeed, but watching them learn, grow and get better at their pace rather than force the issue would make them much more willing to play the game and not be afraid to fail.

    Leave a comment:


  • bluedawg
    replied
    Originally posted by Cannonball View Post
    T Dot, if you can get past the "angry coach" phase, one thing that will happen down the road is that your son will ask you if you want to go play catch. I just bought a new glove. My daughter is 26. We still go out in the yard and play catch. BTW, if you aren't already doing this and can restrain yourself from coaching, criticizing, ... you might just ask your son to do the old man a favor and go play catch. You'd be surprised at the conversations my daughter and I have.
    ditto. My son used to view throwing with his old man as a chore. didn't help if i was critical of his technique. One day he asked me why do you want to throw thinking it was all about him developing. I explained that it was one of the few highlights of my day -getting to hang out with my kid and shoot the breeze with no care in the world, at least for those few minutes. As lame as it sounds, he changed his tune. We have some great times talking about nothing which usually leads to talking about something.

    Leave a comment:


  • sparkny2
    replied
    I eventually learned to keep it in perspective relative to their age/maturity.

    Leave a comment:


  • melyellowfellow
    replied
    New guy here. I'm going through the same thing with my son. He's 10. I've realized that I don't necessarily care if he walks 10 batters or messes up somehow. What bothers me is how he responds to that. I try to let him know that I'm not upset that he can't throw strikes 100% of the time. I'm upset when he gives up on himself. I want him to fight through it. I know it's difficult, but I want him to WANT to be better. To fight and not be so discouraged easily. He's a decent player. One of the better ones in at his age in the league.

    Leave a comment:


  • T Dot
    replied
    Originally posted by Cannonball View Post
    T Dot, if you can get past the "angry coach" phase, one thing that will happen down the road is that your son will ask you if you want to go play catch. I just bought a new glove. My daughter is 26. We still go out in the yard and play catch. BTW, if you aren't already doing this and can restrain yourself from coaching, criticizing, ... you might just ask your son to do the old man a favor and go play catch. You'd be surprised at the conversations my daughter and I have.
    Originally posted by pthawaii View Post
    As coach, I also overcompensated and was unfairly tough on my kid. Luckily I included enough fun elements that he still loves the game. Lots of good advice here that I would echo. Let me add, some prepubescent kids aren't going to act the way we may want. Rest assured that once they hit puberty, a switch can be flipped and they will become what you may have envisioned earlier in life. For example, dont worry if he doesnt have the focus or drive that maybe you feel he should have, no number or lectures you can give will likely help that (may even hurt it). Puberty may fix it without you lifting a finger. Be patient, it will come and you may even morn the loss of that innocent boy you once knew.
    I am letting the proverbial training wheels off and 'allow' as much fun as I see fit. I have lifted off the gas pedal these last couple of games and see him having fun. While he is playing beyond his age, I still want him to have a competitive edge as he player through the levels.

    I know time waits for no one and that was my main reason for being AC. I want to involve myself as much as I can. It hurts to see how other parents treat their kids, and to also see their kids reactions. I know I am like that as well. Every game and every practice I hope to make little steps forward to be the coach/daddy he wants me to be.

    Thanks all! This thread is very helpful.

    Leave a comment:


  • pthawaii
    replied
    As coach, I also overcompensated and was unfairly tough on my kid. Luckily I included enough fun elements that he still loves the game. Lots of good advice here that I would echo. Let me add, some prepubescent kids aren't going to act the way we may want. Rest assured that once they hit puberty, a switch can be flipped and they will become what you may have envisioned earlier in life. For example, dont worry if he doesnt have the focus or drive that maybe you feel he should have, no number or lectures you can give will likely help that (may even hurt it). Puberty may fix it without you lifting a finger. Be patient, it will come and you may even morn the loss of that innocent boy you once knew.

    Leave a comment:


  • sparkny2
    replied
    My son survived dad coach. I made him the team whipping boy, sometimes set a double standard and unfairly raised the bar higher for him over the rest of the team. It would be nice to say the end justified the means as he had many tough coaches after me and he was able to thrive in that environment and made him the player he is now. However, I was just WRONG.

    Leave a comment:


  • FP26
    replied
    Originally posted by JettSixty View Post

    Too many dads think they know baseball because they played all the way through 12yo in LL. They think they’ve learned more watching MLB on tv. As someone who played to a high level of ball I never learned a thing about the game from announcers. Even ex ball players talk at a very low level of baseball intellect so the typical viewer can understand. The only time I saw otherwise was the ESPN analytics broadcast. But that was talking over the head of most viewers.

    It cracked me up in high school ball hearing dads yelling at umpires umpires because they thought they knew the rules. High school is not played by MLB rules.
    There is a lot to learn when watching baseball/softball on TV. Listening to the announcers is not part of it...

    Leave a comment:


  • JettSixty
    replied
    Originally posted by SouthGaBaseball View Post

    Most of them don't know anything about baseball either but they certainly don't let that stop them.
    Too many dads think they know baseball because they played all the way through 12yo in LL. They think they’ve learned more watching MLB on tv. As someone who played to a high level of ball I never learned a thing about the game from announcers. Even ex ball players talk at a very low level of baseball intellect so the typical viewer can understand. The only time I saw otherwise was the ESPN analytics broadcast. But that was talking over the head of most viewers.

    It cracked me up in high school ball hearing dads yelling at umpires umpires because they thought they knew the rules. High school is not played by MLB rules.

    Leave a comment:


  • Cannonball
    replied
    T Dot, if you can get past the "angry coach" phase, one thing that will happen down the road is that your son will ask you if you want to go play catch. I just bought a new glove. My daughter is 26. We still go out in the yard and play catch. BTW, if you aren't already doing this and can restrain yourself from coaching, criticizing, ... you might just ask your son to do the old man a favor and go play catch. You'd be surprised at the conversations my daughter and I have.

    Leave a comment:


  • JettSixty
    replied
    Originally posted by omg View Post

    After many, many, many years in my case, with my anger, I have narrowed the culprit down to three things: I'm hungry, I'm tired, and I have to go to the bathroom.
    And if that parent doesn’t shut up I’m going to need alcohol.

    Leave a comment:


  • omg
    replied
    Originally posted by T Dot View Post
    My biggest hurdle is 'angry coach'...
    After many, many, many years in my case, with my anger, I have narrowed the culprit down to three things: I'm hungry, I'm tired, and I have to go to the bathroom.

    Leave a comment:


  • skipper5
    replied
    Screenshot 2019-05-16 at 3.51.53 PM.png

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  • JettSixty
    replied
    As a parent I had the perspective of growing up as a kid of the father from hell. So I coached my kids using the George Constanta theory of parenting and coaching. If everything my father did was wrong, do the opposite. In fact, I told my kids if they want me coaching them they have to treat me like any coach and I have to treat them like any player. I slipped up a couple of times. But essentially I never said anything to my kids or treated them in a manner I wouldn’t treat any player.

    Leave a comment:

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