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  • Jake,

    You hit the nail on the head. A coach should explain to a kid why he isn't playing. I can fully understand why the coach wouldn't tell a parent. But my God let this kid know, a kid who has bled and broke bones for you for years know what he has done or at least what he needs to do to get to the level where the coach thinks he should play.

    Before the season started the coach called each kid into his office, one by one. He told my boy face to face that this was his team (my boy's) and another kid on our team who has signed a scholarship and is a wonderful player. Anyway, he told my boy he expected him and this other boy to be a leader and lead this team.

    When the season starts my boy sits and sits all the while 1A schools are ripping our team apart.

    Anyway, we have another game tomorrow night and we'll see what happens. My boy is supposed to pitch but who knows......

    Sparks

    Comment


    • Originally posted by Sparksdale View Post
      tradosaurus,

      Our head coach has one rule he stresses at the beginning of every year and this year he stressed it to the parents again..... and I quote..... "NEVER EVER EVER EVER TALK TO ME ABOUT YOUR KID AND PLAYING TIME...... EVER EVER EVER." End of quote.

      <snip>

      The coach will not in any way talk to me about my boy not playing. I tried that last year when he refused to put my boy on the varsity.

      <snip>

      Lamar
      Sparks,
      First off, I have enjoyed reading this entire thread and I hope you get to the bottom of this without the boy having to quit on his team.

      Maybe I missed it but has your Grandson advocated for himself with the coach and asked him why he is getting so little playing time? I totally get the coach not discussing playing time with parents but a boy your boys age should be able to get a minute of the coaches time and try to get an answer to the issue.

      Good luck, I hope he's on the bump today.

      Comment


      • Unfortunately Sparks, sometimes there's simply no right answer or reason for a coach's decision.

        There was a young man who I watched play from the time he was 11, and even had him on one of my TB teams, who was probably one of the best middle infielders I've seen....with the softest hands, smoothest feet, and position instinct that I can remember in a young player. Led off in the order for most teams that he played on, and was just one of the nicest, most polite young men you'd ever meet....his parents raised him well.

        Was a grade behind my oldest son at the HS, and was a varsity starter his soph. and jr. seasons....having two very productive years. Then for some unknown and insane reason, the very same coach who was starting this kid, started splitting his time with a much less talented underclassman, and once the season started, this outstanding senior was relegated to the bench.

        The underclassman booted balls all over the infield, and I don't remember him ever getting a hit, and only very rarely on base at that....yet there sat one of the top three most talented kids on the team.

        Eventually the senior decided to stop wasting his time, and by mid-season spoke to the coach, and quit the team. He was such a great kid though, that he come out to the team's home games and continue to cheer them on, and root for them from the stands.

        It broke many parents' hearts, as many knew the quality player, and especially the person that this young man was, and it was an absolute travesty that he not be out there instead of the junior.

        I even think the junior's parents were a bit uncomfortable with the situation, as they are long time "baseball" parents whose son played in that same league as all of us, and they too knew that their son was not the best player at the position, but what the heck were they supposed to do? Made it a difficult situation for all involved, not just the player being left out of the equation.

        Wish I had some real pearl of wisdom for you, but reality tells me that there are sometimes just no right answers in situations like these. When I talked to the senior about having talked to the coach about playing time, he said that he had, and that the coach told him, "Xxxxx is just doing a better job out there right now".

        Like I said, this young man was too polite to not say anything in his defense, and knowing the coach, I know that it really wouldn't have made a difference anyway.

        This was the same coach who wouldn't put my son on varsity until his senior season, and then had him as the third catcher on the team behind a junior and a sophomore, and only by the Grace of God in my opinion, did he end up starting by the regular season.

        He then went on to led the team in all offensive categories (.417/.735), become all-league, all-valley, and received the "coaches award" at the banquet. But this was the kid that was only good enough in the coach's eye for all three previous seasons, to be deemed as only JV ball material...even though he was one of the top two hitters on each of the previous three years' teams.

        Sparks, sometimes there's just no understanding to what some of these coaches are thinking.

        Best of luck in your difficult, frustrating, and disappointing situation. I hope and pray it all works out for your grandson.....and yourself as a result in the process.


        mud -
        Last edited by mudvnine; 02-25-2013, 10:26 AM.
        In memory of "Catchingcoach" - Dave Weaver: February 28, 1955 - June 17, 2011

        Comment


        • Originally posted by mudvnine View Post
          Unfortunately Sparks, sometimes there's simply no right answer or reason for a coach's decision.

          There was a young man who I watched play from the time he was 11, and even had him on one of my TB teams, who was probably one of the best middle infielders I've seen....with the softest hands, smoothest feet, and position instinct that I can remember in a young player. Led off in the order for most teams that he played on, and was just one of the nicest, most polite young men you'd ever meet....his parents raised him well.

          Was a grade behind my oldest son at the HS, and was a varsity starter his soph. and jr. seasons....having two very productive years. Then for some unknown and insane reason, the very same coach who was starting this kid, started splitting his time with a much less talented underclassman, and once the season started, this outstanding senior was relegated to the bench.

          The underclassman booted balls all over the infield, and I don't remember him ever getting a hit, and only very rarely on base at that....yet there sat one of the top three most talented kids on the team.

          Eventually the senior decided to stop wasting his time, and by mid-season spoke to the coach, and quit the team. He was such a great kid though, that he come out to the team's home games and continue to cheer them on, and root for them from the stands.

          It broke many parents' hearts, as many knew the quality player, and especially the person that this young man was, and it was an absolute travesty that he not be out there instead of the junior.

          I even think the junior's parents were a bit uncomfortable with the situation, as they are long time "baseball" parents whose son played in that same league as all of us, and they too knew that their son was not the best player at the position, but what the heck were they supposed to do? Made it a difficult situation for all involved, not just the player being left out of the equation.

          Wish I had some real pearl of wisdom for you, but reality tells me that there are sometimes just no right answers in situations like these. When I talked to the senior about having talked to the coach about playing time, he said that he had, and that the coach told him, "Xxxxx is just doing a better job out there right now".

          Like I said, this young man was too polite to not say anything in his defense, and knowing the coach, I know that it really wouldn't have made a difference anyway.

          This was the same coach who wouldn't put my son on varsity until his senior season, and then had him as the third catcher on the team behind a junior and a sophomore, and only by the Grace of God in my opinion, did he end up starting by the regular season.

          He then went on to led the team in all offensive categories (.417/.735), become all-league, all-valley, and received the "coaches award" at the banquet. But this was the kid that was only good enough in the coach's eye for all three previous seasons, to be deemed as only JV ball material...even though he was one of the top two hitters on each of the previous three years' teams.

          Sparks, sometimes there's just no understanding to what some of these coaches are thinking.

          Best of luck in your difficult, frustrating, and disappointing situation. I hope and pray it all works out for your grandson.....and yourself as a result in the process.

          mud -
          Decisions like these are, IMO, made for political reasons. Either the parents are influential with the board members or with the coach. What other reason could it be?
          I would have hoped that instead of the kid quitting that the father would have stepped in and had a conference with the coach.
          Like I said, travel ball helps alleviate some of these concerns because it provides another outlet. If I my son never or rarely got playing time and it was obvious he was one of the better players on the field and the situation would not change I would pull him off the team in a heartbeat, after talking with the athletic director, school board members and anyone else that would listen.
          Now I am starting to worry. :hyper:

          Comment


          • The most likely reason the boy isn't playing is that the varsity coach has been reading this thread.
            Skip

            Comment


            • WOW - For all the knowledge on this board I am surprised by all the poor kid comments! Being a starting player in good programs requires more than just quality play on the field.

              Sparks I have followed your posts. Enjoy reading most of them. Your grandson has been down this road before and it came out there was some off the field issues. Right???

              Sparks and all others who find their kid is getting the short shaft on playing it comes down to one or a combo of:

              1. He is not as good as you think
              2. He is maxed out and the lesser player can hold is own and will become better than your son with time
              3. He has a bad attitude
              4. He is a bad student - not just grades. Could have good grades but disrupts class
              5. etc... but you get my point

              It's not and shouldn't be just about performance at game time.

              Comment


              • Originally posted by real green View Post
                WOW - For all the knowledge on this board I am surprised by all the poor kid comments! Being a starting player in good programs requires more than just quality play on the field.

                Sparks I have followed your posts. Enjoy reading most of them. Your grandson has been down this road before and it came out there was some off the field issues. Right???

                Sparks and all others who find their kid is getting the short shaft on playing it comes down to one or a combo of:

                1. He is not as good as you think
                2. He is maxed out and the lesser player can hold is own and will become better than your son with time
                3. He has a bad attitude
                4. He is a bad student - not just grades. Could have good grades but disrupts class
                5. etc... but you get my point

                It's not and shouldn't be just about performance at game time.
                That's just a partial list. Other very key missing points include

                6. The coach is incompetent and a jerk.
                7. The lesser players parents are influential with the coach and/or booster club.
                8. The lesser players mother is really good looking.
                9. The coach likes football players on his team because he thinks that two sport athletes are better than baseball only players.

                etc., etc. As others have pointed out, there could be a ton of reasons, not all of them are logical and not all the kids fault. I would say the majority of the time it's your list (i.e., its the kids fault), I've seen a LOT of the others, and for reasons even worse than I listed. Unfortunately without being there it's hard to say exactly what is happening with Sparks' boy.
                The outcome of our children is infinitely more important than the outcome of any game they will ever play

                Comment


                • Originally posted by skipper5 View Post
                  The most likely reason the boy isn't playing is that the varsity coach has been reading this thread.
                  There is that too. :gt

                  Comment


                  • Sparks - I have really enjoyed reading your posts and love keeping up with what your boy is doing. I really hope he has a great night tonight. But with that said, I can't help but wonder if Real Green has a point above. If I read through all the pages it is riddled with highs and lows. Alot of the lows are about not enough playing time and suspect coaches decisions. I think I saw something on page 11 about when he was an 11 year old and not pitching when he was the best pitcher on the team. It really makes me think something else is going on with your grandson. I also wonder sometimes as a grandfather are you not seeing the whole picture. My son is now 11 and my dad thinks he runs the athletic universe... :clowning: According to my dad my son can do no wrong and is the reason the team wins. When they lose is usually has something to do with not using my son right. I love it, grandparents are supposed to be that way.... but has it clouded something in you?

                    At the end of the day none of us will/can know what is going on. Hopefully your grandson can talk to the coach and get through this mess and I as a fellow parent hope for the best for you and your grandson. Good luck and let us know how it went tonight!

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by JJA View Post
                      That's just a partial list. Other very key missing points include

                      6. The coach is incompetent and a jerk.
                      7. The lesser players parents are influential with the coach and/or booster club.
                      8. The lesser players mother is really good looking.
                      9. The coach likes football players on his team because he thinks that two sport athletes are better than baseball only players.

                      etc., etc. As others have pointed out, there could be a ton of reasons, not all of them are logical and not all the kids fault. I would say the majority of the time it's your list (i.e., its the kids fault), I've seen a LOT of the others, and for reasons even worse than I listed. Unfortunately without being there it's hard to say exactly what is happening with Sparks' boy.
                      Agree 100% with everything you have said. I would like to add that, "The coach is incompetent and a jerk," is the last place I would blame lack of playing time. Sure it happens but not as often as the offended parents think.

                      As adults, we all know how life works. If you are the average Joe parent that contributes $50 a year to the boosters and your son is competing for SS against the Trust Fund Families kid that just donated a new score board for the varsity field than you better have another plan:

                      A: Start preparing your son to play second base.

                      or

                      B: Have a first round draft pick for a son if you expect him to play SS.

                      Booster club kids usually are very well practiced players - ie years of private lessons. In most situations they may not be the stud but they usually don't hurt you.

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by tradosaurus View Post
                        Decisions like these are, IMO, made for political reasons. Either the parents are influential with the board members or with the coach. What other reason could it be?
                        We can all speculate, but that still doesn't change the facts. Remember, I did say that the replacement kid's parents were just as confused....and I think even a tad embarrassed by it all.

                        I would have hoped that instead of the kid quitting that the father would have stepped in and had a conference with the coach.
                        And what do you suppose that would accomplish, other than the dad getting to say his piece?

                        So if the coach decides to play/start dad's kid after talking to him, how fast do all of the dads of the other players who sit on the bench, line up outside the coach's office to get their kids in the game?

                        You do know we're talking about HS varsity ball...right?

                        Like I said, travel ball helps alleviate some of these concerns because it provides another outlet.
                        Good luck with finding a HS aged travel ball team that plays during the HS season. Most, if not all states, don't allow players to play their HS sport and for a TB team of the same sport concurrently, so very few HS travel ball teams stay together over the HS season.

                        If I my son never or rarely got playing time and it was obvious he was one of the better players on the field and the situation would not change I would pull him off the team in a heartbeat, after talking with the athletic director, school board members and anyone else that would listen.
                        Oh, they'll listen politely, but who ya think they gonna believe...some upset parent (they see them all the time), or the coach they hired to coach their team?

                        So which parents are you gonna take in there with you to prove that it is "obvious" that your kid is one of the better players on the field? The parents whose kids are already playing and don't want to piss off the coach, or the parents of the kids that are sitting next to your son, who think their kids are "obviously" better also?

                        Best of luck trad, you have some interesting ideas of HS baseball and how things work there. :dismay:
                        In memory of "Catchingcoach" - Dave Weaver: February 28, 1955 - June 17, 2011

                        Comment


                        • Tonight a much more positive post and an incredible night to say the least.

                          Tonight we played a game I have dreamed of since my boy was 12 years old.

                          In our area is maybe the best player in our state who signed with a major D1 school a few months ago. It's always known around here how good this boy is and as a matter of fact he goes to the same school Josh Willingham went to and this year broke Willingham's homerun record. This boy signed with Alabama as a pitcher. He also took his 3A school and won the state championship last year.

                          Well tonight my boy was assigned to pitch against him. I've waited on this game for years because something always happened and they never pitched against each other.

                          The game was incredible and was a duel between two pitchers and the crowd was into every pitch. When this boy batted against my boy every person was standing in the stands. In the end my boy struck him out twice and he got a clean single on an at bat.

                          In the end my boy pitched 5 innings with 11 strikeouts and gave up 2 hits and walked one. On a sad note we lost the game 2 to 0 as the other boy pitched 5 innings and gave up only 1 hit. Both pitchers had so many strikeouts in the game that they were forced out due to pitch count before the 6th inning.

                          A scout from a D1 school was at the game, no doubt watching this other kid that is so good and deservingly so.... After the game he pulled my boy's high coach to the side and asked questions about my boy. My boy got a text from his coach when he got home telling him about this scout.

                          What an amazing night.... even though we lost it's the kind of game that reminds you how great this game is.

                          My boy has gone from depressed and wanting to quit to being on cloud nine. I'm so proud of him I could bust. After all that has happened for him to come out and have a game like that really says a lot about his character. I'll tell you this...... he has far better character than I do.... I seem to make every mistake and I usually make them more than once.

                          I can see the love of the game in his eyes again and it so refreshing. I've missed that look.
                          I just might be the most blessed granddad on the planet.

                          Sparks

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by Sparksdale View Post
                            Tonight a much more positive post and an incredible night to say the least.

                            Tonight we played a game I have dreamed of since my boy was 12 years old.

                            In our area is maybe the best player in our state who signed with a major D1 school a few months ago. It's always known around here how good this boy is and as a matter of fact he goes to the same school Josh Willingham went to and this year broke Willingham's homerun record. This boy signed with Alabama as a pitcher. He also took his 3A school and won the state championship last year.


                            Well tonight my boy was assigned to pitch against him. I've waited on this game for years because something always happened and they never pitched against each other.

                            The game was incredible and was a duel between two pitchers and the crowd was into every pitch. When this boy batted against my boy every person was standing in the stands. In the end my boy struck him out twice and he got a clean single on an at bat.

                            In the end my boy pitched 5 innings with 11 strikeouts and gave up 2 hits and walked one. On a sad note we lost the game 2 to 0 as the other boy pitched 5 innings and gave up only 1 hit. Both pitchers had so many strikeouts in the game that they were forced out due to pitch count before the 6th inning.

                            A scout from a D1 school was at the game, no doubt watching this other kid that is so good and deservingly so.... After the game he pulled my boy's high coach to the side and asked questions about my boy. My boy got a text from his coach when he got home telling him about this scout.

                            What an amazing night.... even though we lost it's the kind of game that reminds you how great this game is.

                            My boy has gone from depressed and wanting to quit to being on cloud nine. I'm so proud of him I could bust. After all that has happened for him to come out and have a game like that really says a lot about his character. I'll tell you this...... he has far better character than I do.... I seem to make every mistake and I usually make them more than once.

                            I can see the love of the game in his eyes again and it so refreshing. I've missed that look.
                            I just might be the most blessed granddad on the planet.

                            Sparks
                            Hats off to ur boy in a great duel! Hopefully he will think of and draw upon this during the battles still to come..whatever the level and life situation!

                            Comment


                            • Great to hear Sparks!! Hopefully he will learn that there is nothing he can do about all of this off the field stuff. All he can control is what he does when he's in the game, and it sounds like he had the game of his life. That's the best possible thing he can do in regards to the coach. Lots of kids go through similar adversity. It's how you respond to the adversity that counts.

                              Congratulations to the both of you!!
                              The outcome of our children is infinitely more important than the outcome of any game they will ever play

                              Comment


                              • Congrats!

                                Maybe this is an indication that your grandson's coach really does value him as a player?

                                Comment

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