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My son had a pretty rough game (9u rec) last night.
First off, he was the starting pitcher. I thought he pitched OK, but he gave up quite a few runs. In his third inning (in 90+ heat and midwest humidity), the coach kept telling him to throw harder. He was trying but ended up giving up quite a few runs and was pulled in the middle of the inning -- this was the first time he had had that experience, and I could tell he was pretty upset. He was relieved by the coach's son, then later by another kid. Coach was yelling for them to throw harder as well. Ironically (?), all three of our team's pitchers had decent control and kept the game close; the other team's downfall was wild pitching by its bullpen in the late innings...
Next incident: Top of the 5th inning, two outs and runners on, his team had mounted a comeback but were still down a run or two. My son was playing third base and a grounder was hit to him. He fielded the ball cleanly, but threw the ball over the first baseman's head. Runs score. Coach yells from the dugout, "<son's name>, that's ANOTHER error that's cost us runs!"
Later in that inning, a batter hit a ground ball roller between SS and 3B; my son went for the ball but was unable to get to it. He then made the error of continuing to chase after the ball after it got past him; the runner made second, and seeing the uncovered third base, and takes that as well. Coach yells some more: "WHAT are you DOING? You have to COVER the BASE!" etc.
After the inning ends, he sat down at the end of the dugout, upset. The coach goes up to him and upbraided him sternly for both errors. After the conversation, my son comes out of the dugout angry and crying, comes up to me and tells me he's quitting. I calmly and firmly tell him that no he isn't, to get back in that dugout and get ready to bat. I remind him to put the past behind him and take it one thing at at time. His team has a big inning and my son ends up getting a walk-off hit.
I don't feel like either of these errors was yell-worthy. The first was obviously a physical error -- it's hard for an 8-year-old to throw from 3rd to first (and my son had made the same play perfectly in a previous inning to get the out). The second error was a mental error, but I still blame it on the coach -- I don't believe he ever covered this situation in practice, and if the third baseman is going for the ball, someone else (pitcher?) might have covered that base for him.
Maybe it sounds like I feel the coach is picking on my son. That's not the case -- he was yelling at all of the players, especially his own son. I think he was getting frustrated because (1) he was losing, and (2) his players were making tons of errors. A few times I heard him threaten the players: "either throw the ball hard or I'm going to put in someone else who can!" My son said he told their weakest batter, "If you're not going to swing the bat, you shouldn't be playing baseball!" For one player: "Take a leadoff on each pitch or I'll sit you on the bench for the rest of this game and the next one too!" And every outfielder who hesitated with the ball got a loud, "THROW the BALL!!" yelled at him. In fact, my son has really not been yelled at by this coach much at all, mostly because he's a good player who keeps his head in the game, gives his best, and doesn't make many errors.
One problem my son has (generally, not just in baseball) is he's very sensitive to criticism. So I could see that leaving him on this team might help him learn to cope with criticism, to be able to shrug it off and keep going. On the other hand, it doesn't seem age-appropriate to have this kind of yelling. So I'm thinking of switching teams for next year (my son wants to switch too). There are some advantages (for him) to his current team, though: he gets to pitch a lot, they have frequent access to batting cages, and he plays every inning. Plus, they have had a winning record this year (8-4, I think) and winning is more fun than losing. If I send him into the draft, who knows what kind of team he might end up on... the coaching could even be worse than what he's got now -- I'm assuming the bad teams and coaches will have more empty slots than the good coaches, who can retain all their players each year (it's not LL).
Maybe I should just talk to the coach about my issues and try to get him to mellow out..?
First off, he was the starting pitcher. I thought he pitched OK, but he gave up quite a few runs. In his third inning (in 90+ heat and midwest humidity), the coach kept telling him to throw harder. He was trying but ended up giving up quite a few runs and was pulled in the middle of the inning -- this was the first time he had had that experience, and I could tell he was pretty upset. He was relieved by the coach's son, then later by another kid. Coach was yelling for them to throw harder as well. Ironically (?), all three of our team's pitchers had decent control and kept the game close; the other team's downfall was wild pitching by its bullpen in the late innings...
Next incident: Top of the 5th inning, two outs and runners on, his team had mounted a comeback but were still down a run or two. My son was playing third base and a grounder was hit to him. He fielded the ball cleanly, but threw the ball over the first baseman's head. Runs score. Coach yells from the dugout, "<son's name>, that's ANOTHER error that's cost us runs!"
Later in that inning, a batter hit a ground ball roller between SS and 3B; my son went for the ball but was unable to get to it. He then made the error of continuing to chase after the ball after it got past him; the runner made second, and seeing the uncovered third base, and takes that as well. Coach yells some more: "WHAT are you DOING? You have to COVER the BASE!" etc.
After the inning ends, he sat down at the end of the dugout, upset. The coach goes up to him and upbraided him sternly for both errors. After the conversation, my son comes out of the dugout angry and crying, comes up to me and tells me he's quitting. I calmly and firmly tell him that no he isn't, to get back in that dugout and get ready to bat. I remind him to put the past behind him and take it one thing at at time. His team has a big inning and my son ends up getting a walk-off hit.
I don't feel like either of these errors was yell-worthy. The first was obviously a physical error -- it's hard for an 8-year-old to throw from 3rd to first (and my son had made the same play perfectly in a previous inning to get the out). The second error was a mental error, but I still blame it on the coach -- I don't believe he ever covered this situation in practice, and if the third baseman is going for the ball, someone else (pitcher?) might have covered that base for him.
Maybe it sounds like I feel the coach is picking on my son. That's not the case -- he was yelling at all of the players, especially his own son. I think he was getting frustrated because (1) he was losing, and (2) his players were making tons of errors. A few times I heard him threaten the players: "either throw the ball hard or I'm going to put in someone else who can!" My son said he told their weakest batter, "If you're not going to swing the bat, you shouldn't be playing baseball!" For one player: "Take a leadoff on each pitch or I'll sit you on the bench for the rest of this game and the next one too!" And every outfielder who hesitated with the ball got a loud, "THROW the BALL!!" yelled at him. In fact, my son has really not been yelled at by this coach much at all, mostly because he's a good player who keeps his head in the game, gives his best, and doesn't make many errors.
One problem my son has (generally, not just in baseball) is he's very sensitive to criticism. So I could see that leaving him on this team might help him learn to cope with criticism, to be able to shrug it off and keep going. On the other hand, it doesn't seem age-appropriate to have this kind of yelling. So I'm thinking of switching teams for next year (my son wants to switch too). There are some advantages (for him) to his current team, though: he gets to pitch a lot, they have frequent access to batting cages, and he plays every inning. Plus, they have had a winning record this year (8-4, I think) and winning is more fun than losing. If I send him into the draft, who knows what kind of team he might end up on... the coaching could even be worse than what he's got now -- I'm assuming the bad teams and coaches will have more empty slots than the good coaches, who can retain all their players each year (it's not LL).
Maybe I should just talk to the coach about my issues and try to get him to mellow out..?
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