How do you coaches handle players who are getting private instruction elsewhere?

[PCC]

My son (12 years old) ended up having a horrible season because I decided to be up front with his recreational league coach about him taking private lessons. I wasn't going to say anything to his coach but he was giving instruction that was contradictory to what my son was getting in his private lessons. I simply told the coach that he was taking private lessons and that I would appreciate it if he wouldn't give him instruction regarding his hitting mechanics so that my son wouldn't get confused by different instructions from different people. Shortly after that the coach basically sidelined my son for the season. He only pitched about 1/4 as much as the other pitchers did even though he was just as capable a pitcher. My son was so upset with his season that he considered quitting baseball altogether. After winning the championship game he threw his medal away and tore up his jersey. I've never seen him so upset with a coach before. Luckily I have talked with him and convinced him to continue playing the game that he loves.

I emailed his coach about the situation after the season ended and explained how upset my son was. He basically told me that when I asked him not to coach him in his hitting mechanics that at that point he made my son "an island unto himself". What's that all about? Who does that to a 12 year old? It was a RECREATIONAL YOUTH LEAGUE for God's sake.

So I guess what I'm wondering is if any of you coaches can tell me if what I did was wrong? Should I have just kept my mouth shut? I didn't want to tell my son to ignore his coach's instruction regarding hitting for fear that he wouldn't listen to any of his instruction, and for fear that the coach would get upset when he realized he wasn't doing as he was being told. I figured being honest about the situation was the best approach. However I'm now thinking I should have just kept my mouth shut.

comments? Thoughts? Suggestions?

Thanks.

[tg643]

My daughter always had me as a coach and hitting instructor. Even in high school her coach was the overall hitting instructor for the travel program and I was the hitting instructor for her travel team. My son always had me as a hitting instructor until high school and travel when he was sixteen. His high school coach had personal issues with his hitting instructor. But he saw hard work and results so he dealt with it. Once my kids got to college ball I retired to being a fan and a parent.

As a coach I sometimes had to deal with being told a kid had a hitting or pitching instructor. Often they went to instructors I recommended. If not I asked what was being taught. If the player or parent couldn't explain properrly I called the instructor. I never heard anything outside the realm of my belief system. I sometimes learned new ways to instruct. I'm not going to fault a kid/parent for getting outside instruction when I encourage practicing away from the team.

[The Uncoach]

You report him to the rec association. It's as simple as that.

[songtitle]

You report him to the rec association. It's as simple as that.

Then he'll be an 'island' to every coach. Let it go.

[songtitle]

..... double post somehow......

[PCC]

So do you think I did the right thing by telling him what the situation was? I'm just wondering what to do next year, because I'm sure we will be in the same situation.

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[songtitle]

Right or wrong, it ended up hurting your son. Why do it again?

I would appreciate it if he wouldn't give him instruction regarding his hitting mechanics

This was not good.

Maybe a better way, is to say you are getting lessons, so help us work out a way for my son to get instruction from both of you.

In T-Ball I had 2 different dad's say "don't change my boy's swing". I didn't.

As a coach, I usually tried to head this off by saying... let him learn both ways and we'll see which works better. They usually ended up using what I taught them.

[michhood622]

I have had the same issue this past year. I had about 3 sets of parents tell me not to mess with their son's swing. It was 8U machine pitch. One parent went so far to send me and the manager youtube videos of what she is teaching her son. The videos were of Jake Epstein and at that point I let her know that I am Epstein certified. By no way does that mean that I know what I am doing, but I thought it was funny. :-)

[Jake Patterson]

So do you think I did the right thing by telling him what the situation was? I'm just wondering what to do next year, because I'm sure we will be in the same situation.

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Telling a coach not to coach his player is problematic, no matter the reason...

Several thoughts:

I used to have dads tell me the same thing, and my response was always consistant... I'll leave him alone and if he performs he'll (HS level) stay in the line-up if he doesn't he sits...

As a youth coach I worked hard at learning how to teach hitting (I played and was very successful as a hitter, but quickly found teaching it is a very different animal), and dads found their was no need to seek the help of others...

As far as the coach goes, on the surface it sounds like he made a bad choice... let it go.

[Baseball gLove]

The coach did your son a favor by not pitching him a much as the others.

I have always told my kids not to ask or tell the coach where they want to play or where they want to hit in the line-up. Instead they ask the coach "Where do you want me coach?"

My oldest is playing college ball and he'll play anywhere the coach wants him. Looks like 3rd base even though he could be one of the team's best outfielders. This year was a first for my 12 year old. He had been too slow in the past to play middle infield. This year he played shortstop, 3rd, 1st, outfield, catcher and pitcher. He batted 2nd, 3rd or 4th. (I have no clue why the coach batted him 2nd).

[Jake Patterson]

The coach did your son a favor by not pitching him a much as the others.

I have always told my kids not to ask or tell the coach where they want to play or where they want to hit in the line-up. Instead they ask the coach "Where do you want me coach?"

My oldest is playing college ball and he'll play anywhere the coach wants him. Looks like 3rd base even though he could be one of the team's best outfielders. This year was a first for my 12 year old. He had been too slow in the past to play middle infield. This year he played shortstop, 3rd, 1st, outfield, catcher and pitcher. He batted 2nd, 3rd or 4th. (I have no clue why the coach batted him 2nd).

My cousin's 14 y/o son played Senior Legion this year as a starter (with and against many college players)... After the game I asked him where he likes playing... he gave the perfect answer... "Wherever the coach needs me."

[PCC]

The coach did your son a favor by not pitching him a much as the others.

I have always told my kids not to ask or tell the coach where they want to play or where they want to hit in the line-up. Instead they ask the coach "Where do you want me coach?"

My oldest is playing college ball and he'll play anywhere the coach wants him. Looks like 3rd base even though he could be one of the team's best outfielders. This year was a first for my 12 year old. He had been too slow in the past to play middle infield. This year he played shortstop, 3rd, 1st, outfield, catcher and pitcher. He batted 2nd, 3rd or 4th. (I have no clue why the coach batted him 2nd).

Why do you say he did my son a favor not pitching him as much? He pitched a whole 8 innings in 4 of the 16 games. He worked his butt off on his pitching this year and hardly got any time on the mound. It was very discouraging to him.

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[PCC]

My cousin's 14 y/o son played Senior Legion this year as a starter (with and against many college players)... After the game I asked him where he likes playing... he gave the perfect answer... "Wherever the coach needs me."

I do agree, that is the best attitude to have.


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[Jake Patterson]

Why do you say he did my son a favor not pitching him as much? He pitched a whole 8 innings in 4 of the 16 games. He worked his butt off on his pitching this year and hardly got any time on the mound. It was very discouraging to him.

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Many who have been around the game for a long time recognize the injurious nature of youth pitching... We have had numerous threads discussing this topic here to include the damage it can do to growth plates. The problem with many youth coaches is they abuse (unknowingly) those who can pitch well.

I agree - he did your son a favor... At this age develop a love for every position on the field with pitching being last.

[PCC]

Many who have been around the game for a long time recognize the injurious nature of youth pitching... We have had numerous threads discussing this topic here to include the damage it can do to growth plates. The problem with many youth coaches is they abuse (unknowingly) those who can pitch well.

I agree - he did your son a favor... At this age develop a love for every position on the field with pitching being last.

I pitched in youth ball and in high school, I know full well the problem with over pitching because it happened to me. I agree some coaches over pitch their good pitchers and that isn't a good thing. But he should have had more mound time if for no other reason than to not over pitch the two boys that he did over pitch (there were six pitchers on the team).

I will talk to my boy about just loving the game no matter where he plays. That is some great advice....thanks.

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