Letting your son step out of Baseball???

[real green]

Kids can be fickle. I would like to hear some of your opinions on when it's OK to let your children step down from sports?

I am disappointed in some of my choices as a teenager which led me down the road of stopping sports. I have never been cut from a team. It was my decission to quit playing sports at points in my life where I began to get distracted. I have wondered at times if my parents had not given me the option to step down if I would have stayed on a straighter path.

[Standballdad]

Kids can be fickle. I would like to hear some of your opinions on when it's OK to let your children step down from sports?

I am disappointed in some of my choices as a teenager which led me down the road of stopping sports. I have never been cut from a team. It was my decission to quit playing sports at points in my life where I began to get distracted. I have wondered at times if my parents had not given me the option to step down if I would have stayed on a straighter path.

Told both my sons that they would play baseball, basketball and soccer up to 12 years old. After that it was up to them, but they had to take up something meaningful. Oldest stuck with soccer thru HS and is now involved with church and other outside community avtivities, also an Eagle scout. Youngest has stuck with baseball, plays in HS band and is on the way to eagle as well. There comes a time when the kids need to figure it for themselves what they want to do, hopefully with guidance from us the parents.

[Jake Patterson]

Kids can be fickle. I would like to hear some of your opinions on when it's OK to let your children step down from sports?

I am disappointed in some of my choices as a teenager which led me down the road of stopping sports. I have never been cut from a team. It was my decission to quit playing sports at points in my life where I began to get distracted. I have wondered at times if my parents had not given me the option to step down if I would have stayed on a straighter path.

I'm confused... Isn't this their choice??

[real green]

I'm confused... Isn't this their choice??

You have no influence over your kids choices? I don't agree with that! I feel there is a time when our influence starts to become less and less. My questions is at what point do you stop influencing your kids decisions?

Such as StandballDad, He has choose to give them more freedom of choice but still requires/influences participation in extracurricular activities at 13.

[HeinekenMan]

I think it's important for parents to have an influence when children make decisions to start or stop an activity like baseball, Scouts, etc. Rather than letting kids do whatever they want, parents should talk with their kids and figure out why the kid wants to make a change. Parents have a lot more life experience and a much broader perspective, and they often can present a range of resolutions that a child might not consider. The answer might not be quitting. The answer might be practicing with a private instructor to improve skill level. The answer might be practicing less and spending more time doing kid stuff with friends. But parents also need to be aware of those times when quitting is absolutely the best option.

[Jake Patterson]

You have no influence over your kids choices? I don't agree with that! I feel there is a time when our influence starts to become less and less. My questions is at what point do you stop influencing your kids decisions?

Such as StandballDad, He has choose to give them more freedom of choice but still requires/influences participation in extracurricular activities at 13.

I agree that we should help to influence our children's choices. As a parent that job never stops regardless of your child's age.... My oldest is in his 30's and I still try to influence his decisions.... or at least the the process he uses to make the decision he makes.

You wrote

to let your children step down

... If he chose never to play again, there is little you can do short of forcing him... and we all know how that works. The best you can do is try to make certain he made the choice well after considering all the ramifications. He may simply have other interests..

My best shortstop quit in HS and played golf professionally.


The only time I did not LET my son step down was when he wanted to quit after committing..

[pthawaii]

Interesting question that may spark a lot of discussion that doesn’t get you your answer. So let me take a stab at it first. When is it “OK to let your children step down from sports?” My best generalized answer would be age 8-10. Certainly not age 4-5. At age 4, my son said he didn’t want to play any sports. His first season of baseball, he was scared of the coach. He didn’t want to play the next season. Age 5 was his 2nd season of tee-ball, I was ready to “let” him quit but after talking to my wife, we decided to try another season. Now, we can’t get him off the field. Sure, you could word-smith it and say we “encouraged” him, but in reality we forced him to play that 2nd season, just plain ol signed him up. I’m not saying he wouldn’t still love baseball if we skipped the next few seasons of tee-ball (he’d probably still love it if we kept playing on our own), but I’m saying forcing him didn’t seem to cause any problems down the road.
My daughter wanted to quit Karate at age 9. She was close to her black belt so we were encouraging her to stick it out til she made black belt, but she didn’t enjoy it anymore (plus she was enjoying dance, etc.), so we let her quit.
The longer answer is “it depends.” Depends on why the want to quit. My son talked about stopping baseball after tee-ball. I asked him why and he said because he was worried that he wouldn’t be able to hit HRs anymore. We had a nice talk. He played his first year of coach pitch, no HRs and had a blast. Same even now going to kid pitch. Worried about getting hit and not being able to hit the ball. I always tell him, let’s try and see how it goes. He is 8 now. If he came to me and said he didn’t enjoy playing baseball…if getting him ready for practice was like getting him to brush his teeth and go to bed at night…I’d be more than happy to let him quit. I’d encourage we try other sports for sure, but it just ain’t worth it if he’s miserable.
I’m imaging some 8-10 yo kids I’ve seen. Not athletic. Seem to hate the game of baseball. Does poorly in practice and games. But worst of all, no love for the game. I keep thinking, man, what if this kid is the next Picasso, or next famous musician but their parents can’t see any opportunities past baseball? I feel it’s a shame that they are forced to play baseball cause the parents like baseball.
You said quit sports, as in sports in general. Man, that’s a tough one. I think physical activity is so important as a youth and even adult. I might make a deal with my kid at age 8 that he/she needs to do something physical, even if that’s just going on hikes and ride bikes with me on the weekend. Other than that, yeah, if they aren’t enjoying it, let em quit, roughly age 8-10, especially if they have had enough experience to really know that this isn’t for them. That’s my best estimate from my life experiences, not that there is a right or wrong, look forward to the discussion.

[Standballdad]

I agree that we should help to influence our children's choices. As a parent that job never stops regardless of your child's age.... My oldest is in his 30's and I still try to influence his decisions.... or at least the the process he uses to make the decision he makes.

You wrote ... If he chose never to play again, there is little you can do short of forcing him... and we all know how that works. The best you can do is try to make certain he made the choice well after considering all the ramifications. He may simply have other interests..

My best shortstop quit in HS and played golf professionally.


The only time I did not LET my son step down was when he wanted to quit after committing..

Both my sons wanted to quit piano early on, but my wife would not let them. She forced them both to continue playing. You ask either of my sons and they will tell you, thank god mom wouldn't let us quit. They both continue to play on their own because they grew to love it. There are just some things children do not have any idea what is good for them. That's what the parents are for.

[TXDAD]

For our 3 boys (12,11 and 8) we decided that they could choose to stop participating in athletics at age 12 if they desired to do so. By this age, things get a bit more competitive and if they don't have the desire to play a sport there isn't any point in forcing them to do so. We picked the sports up until age 9 and at that point it has been up to them to decide which one they wanted to be involved in, with the exception of football. I don't want any of them playing football until 7th grade which my oldest just started.

[Baseball gLove]

Any time they are not enjoying the game. They can play any sport they want and it does not have to be baseball. I want them physicaly fit when they finish HS. From there it's up to them.

I didn't let my older one play football because he was too small. I probably shielded him too much because that could have been his sport with his speed.

I tried to encourge the younger one to play football because of his size. But football was not his game. He does love baseball though.

[Jake Patterson]

Both my sons wanted to quit piano early on, but my wife would not let them. She forced them both to continue playing. You ask either of my sons and they will tell you, thank god mom wouldn't let us quit. They both continue to play on their own because they grew to love it. There are just some things children do not have any idea what is good for them. That's what the parents are for.

I think we oftentimes confuse what's "good for them" and what interests them. I feel a parent's role is to expose their children to a variety of interests. It sounds like this worked out for your children. It often does not.

Athletics isn't for anyone... Not every child is wired to play ball, some are wired to paint, write, etc... To those parents who force their child to play ball because the parents "knows best"... I always ask - what if you are wrong?

[Standballdad]

I think we oftentimes confuse what's "good for them" and what interests them. I feel a parent's role is to expose their children to a variety of interests. It sounds like this worked out for your children. It often does not.

Athletics isn't for anyone... Not every child is wired to play ball, some are wired to paint, write, etc... To those parents who force their child to play ball because the parents "knows best"... I always ask - what if you are wrong?

Jake I do not necessarily disagree with you. As your child gets older and wiser, he or she needs to start making their own decisions. The tough part is knowing when to start letting them do so. This one cuts both ways, what if you are right?

[azmatsfan]

I think we oftentimes confuse what's "good for them" and what interests them. I feel a parent's role is to expose their children to a variety of interests. It sounds like this worked out for your children. It often does not.

Athletics isn't for anyone... Not every child is wired to play ball, some are wired to paint, write, etc... To those parents who force their child to play ball because the parents "knows best"... I always ask - what if you are wrong?

Here's where I struggle. I have three boys. Boys #1 and #3 love sports and could play all day. Boy #2 loves sports as a spectator, but not as a participant as much. He's in 6th grade and this fall he isn't in any organized sports. His only activity is guitar lessons which doesn't take a lot of time. I want him to remain physically active, but he hasn't found a sport or activity the keeps his interest. (We tried scouts, but he didn't like it.) I'm a bit of a loner, and he's inherited that personality trait. Do we force him into doing an activity he's not passionate about (doesn't have to be baseball), or do we let him be as long as he does well in school and stays physically fit?

[Jake Patterson]

Here's where I struggle. I have three boys. Boys #1 and #3 love sports and could play all day. Boy #2 loves sports as a spectator, but not as a participant as much. He's in 6th grade and this fall he isn't in any organized sports. His only activity is guitar lessons which doesn't take a lot of time. I want him to remain physically active, but he hasn't found a sport or activity the keeps his interest. (We tried scouts, but he didn't like it.) I'm a bit of a loner, and he's inherited that personality trait. Do we force him into doing an activity he's not passionate about (doesn't have to be baseball), or do we let him be as long as he does well in school and stays physically fit?

Several thoughts:
I am not certain I have a problem with forcing a child to have some physical activity... It's part of having a healthy life. Maybe - "Bobby, you have to do something physical, and I'll allow you to pick what it is," might help.

If he's a loner(ish) like his dad, then maybe fishing or hiking?

[Standballdad]

Here's where I struggle. I have three boys. Boys #1 and #3 love sports and could play all day. Boy #2 loves sports as a spectator, but not as a participant as much. He's in 6th grade and this fall he isn't in any organized sports. His only activity is guitar lessons which doesn't take a lot of time. I want him to remain physically active, but he hasn't found a sport or activity the keeps his interest. (We tried scouts, but he didn't like it.) I'm a bit of a loner, and he's inherited that personality trait. Do we force him into doing an activity he's not passionate about (doesn't have to be baseball), or do we let him be as long as he does well in school and stays physically fit?

I would give him a few choices to choose from. If he is not into team sports, then maybe something along the lines of swimming, tennis or long distance running to name a few. Doing nothing in my opinion is not an option. You are right, kids at that age need to maintain some physical activity.