Special K

[HeinekenMan]

With a new league, I also have a new assistant coach. For now, I'll refer to him as Special K. I could tell many stories about this guy. It's sufficient to say that he is a character. He found out I was starting a travel ball team and started to call me twice a day. He would talk for 30 minutes each time. His son is a good power hitter. So I encouraged him to bring his son to both the travel team and fall ball team. Now this guy is a constant source of humor.

I plan to keep a running log of Special K stories. For now, I'll share two.

On Saturday, a travel ball parent was discussing Special K with me. Apparently, Special K told this parent that he used to run a brothel in South America.

During a travel ball practice, Special K decided we needed another player for an upcoming tournament. So he called some lady and invited her son to come to practice. Then he walked over and told me that this kid was on his way. The kid showed up in the middle of practice wearing jeans. The kid, his brother and his mom walked right onto the field and met with Special K behind second base. They carried on a conversation for 15 minutes right in the middle of my field. It turns out that the kid can barely catch a ball.

Stay tuned. There is usually a story every day with this guy.

[raptor]

With a new league, I also have a new assistant coach. For now, I'll refer to him as Special K. I could tell many stories about this guy. It's sufficient to say that he is a character. He found out I was starting a travel ball team and started to call me twice a day. He would talk for 30 minutes each time. His son is a good power hitter. So I encouraged him to bring his son to both the travel team and fall ball team. Now this guy is a constant source of humor.

I plan to keep a running log of Special K stories. For now, I'll share two.

On Saturday, a travel ball parent was discussing Special K with me. Apparently, Special K told this parent that he used to run a brothel in South America.

During a travel ball practice, Special K decided we needed another player for an upcoming tournament. So he called some lady and invited her son to come to practice. Then he walked over and told me that this kid was on his way. The kid showed up in the middle of practice wearing jeans. The kid, his brother and his mom walked right onto the field and met with Special K behind second base. They carried on a conversation for 15 minutes right in the middle of my field. It turns out that the kid can barely catch a ball.

Stay tuned. There is usually a story every day with this guy.

Keep a diary when he is no longer your problem..get rid of that dude and his son. Your team will be better immediately. Piecing your posts together, id advise that team meeting but first recruit your most solid parent to be an ally. You need that. You cant let an assistant coach hold up practice to talk to some kid on the field in jeans..its your team man. Show humility and ask the parents for help for the kids' sake to make it a good experience.

[Jake Patterson]

With a new league, I also have a new assistant coach. For now, I'll refer to him as Special K. I could tell many stories about this guy. It's sufficient to say that he is a character. He found out I was starting a travel ball team and started to call me twice a day. He would talk for 30 minutes each time. His son is a good power hitter. So I encouraged him to bring his son to both the travel team and fall ball team. Now this guy is a constant source of humor.

I plan to keep a running log of Special K stories. For now, I'll share two.

On Saturday, a travel ball parent was discussing Special K with me. Apparently, Special K told this parent that he used to run a brothel in South America.

During a travel ball practice, Special K decided we needed another player for an upcoming tournament. So he called some lady and invited her son to come to practice. Then he walked over and told me that this kid was on his way. The kid showed up in the middle of practice wearing jeans. The kid, his brother and his mom walked right onto the field and met with Special K behind second base. They carried on a conversation for 15 minutes right in the middle of my field. It turns out that the kid can barely catch a ball.

Stay tuned. There is usually a story every day with this guy.

Raptor- Story two should not have happened... If I was in the middle of practice and someone walked on my field the 15 minutes would have been 15 seconds before I asked them and the coach to take it elsewhere... With someone like him you need to be the leader and shut some of this down immediately. I would not keep a log if your intent is to use it to build a case. Nip it in the bud.

[raptor]

Raptor- Story two should not have happened... If I was in the middle of practice and someone walked on my field the 15 minutes would have been 15 seconds before I asked them and the coach to take it elsewhere... With someone like him you need to be the leader and shut some of this down immediately. I would not keep a log if your intent is to use it to build a case. Nip it in the bud.

Yes..my advice to jettison him might be too harsh as a first response but there needs to be a conversation quickly. It may lead to said jettisoning. The longer you let it go the worse it may become. Go with your gut...if you feel it can be salvaged try to work it out...but if he is intent on being the number one then it may become an even bigger problem down the road. He shouldn't be making roster decisions without your input.

[HeinekenMan]

I have been more and more frank with this guy over the past few weeks. He doesn't always like my answers. But he's learning to live with them. The people on the field was sort of the last straw. Since then, I have realized that I need to be firm and controlling. When he calls, I just cut him off and tell him I have things to do. When he tells me how to coach my team, I now put a stop to it immediately.

I did forget another. This guy has a 13-year-old boy who is taking pitching lessons from some academy coach. At one of our fall ball practices, I had to leave early to cover a high school football game. As I was leaving, I discovered that his son had pulled a kid aside and was teaching him to pitch. The kid seemed to be teaching my player good mechanics. But it disturbed me. The kid who was learning from him is not really someone I had picked out as a pitcher. So I wasn't too bent out of shape. Then Special K called me while I was walking into the stadium. He said his son worked with my ace pitcher and had "fixed" his mechanics. I chewed his tail end and told him that his son was not to be coaching my kids. Twenty minutes later, the kid's mom called to tell me that Special K's son had taught him some strange motion. The kid probably was learning proper mechanics from the 13-year-old. But I can't know that for sure. I was not a happy person. Now this 13-year-old knows that he's not to coach. But he still stands around on my field. It's going to stop tomorrow. And if I lose this coach, I'm okay with it. My travel team assistant can't stand the guy, and Special K's son annoys him to no end. The kid is lazy, doesn't like to hustle and is constantly getting excuses from dad. But I just want to share with you guys the comedy of it all. Because me and my travel assistant are enjoying some good laughs.

[Jake Patterson]

I have been more and more frank with this guy over the past few weeks. He doesn't always like my answers. But he's learning to live with them. The people on the field was sort of the last straw. Since then, I have realized that I need to be firm and controlling. When he calls, I just cut him off and tell him I have things to do. When he tells me how to coach my team, I now put a stop to it immediately.

I did forget another. This guy has a 13-year-old boy who is taking pitching lessons from some academy coach. At one of our fall ball practices, I had to leave early to cover a high school football game. As I was leaving, I discovered that his son had pulled a kid aside and was teaching him to pitch. The kid seemed to be teaching my player good mechanics. But it disturbed me. The kid who was learning from him is not really someone I had picked out as a pitcher. So I wasn't too bent out of shape. Then Special K called me while I was walking into the stadium. He said his son worked with my ace pitcher and had "fixed" his mechanics. I chewed his tail end and told him that his son was not to be coaching my kids. Twenty minutes later, the kid's mom called to tell me that Special K's son had taught him some strange motion. The kid probably was learning proper mechanics from the 13-year-old. But I can't know that for sure. I was not a happy person. Now this 13-year-old knows that he's not to coach. But he still stands around on my field. It's going to stop tomorrow. And if I lose this coach, I'm okay with it. My travel team assistant can't stand the guy, and Special K's son annoys him to no end. The kid is lazy, doesn't like to hustle and is constantly getting excuses from dad. But I just want to share with you guys the comedy of it all. Because me and my travel assistant are enjoying some good laughs.

It reminds me of a few I had...

[dominik]

I would say enjoy the fun and don't nag around on everything (allow him some antics) but set a clear border if he is disturbing your training and games. you need to give him something to do

[HeinekenMan]

It reminds me of a few I had...

Well, I will take annoying and mildly disruptive over the overbearing, angry parents who treat you like dung. I had one of those last spring, and it was a new experience for me. I can control Special K because he still respects me even though he is a little flaky and wants to grasp some power. He seems to believe in my approach, and he says his son really likes me.

I have to say that my primary assistant is a great guy. I really like him. He has a great attitude and is very helpful. He'll do anything for me. We work well together. And we're in agreement on Special K. We're going to grab a beer on Friday and discuss ways to minimize Special K's disruptive ways. Duct tape might be a good start.

[The Flush]

Special K sounds like a guy that you need to find a task he is good at and have him focus on that one thing, so that you and the other coach can manage the team. But you need to be the one who decides what that task will be, not him.

[mudvnine]

For what it's worth, I don't find anything that you've said about "Special K" to be amusing, funny, entertaining, or worthwhile....especially from an assistant coach.

So far, you've described him to be nothing but a hinderance rather than any help. When you have to start hanging up on, or cutting off your AC, you better do a "needs" assessment on that person, and determine what in the world you're letting him waste your's and your player's time for.

I'm with "raptor" (or at least his original thought), "get rid of that dude and his son". You're too far gone with the guy to ask him to just no longer coach for you, so the son goes too (which from one of your last posts, doesn't sound like that big of a loss).

You do not choose "annoying and mildly disruptive" for any reason, even if you "think" it's better than some other personality disorder. You should not have to "control" an AC, he should be secure and mature enough to control himself, and to know his place on the coaching staff.

It sounds as though you have one outstanding AC already, no need to settle for a second one, just to have someone else there.

If two guys can't run a 10U TB team, than you have bigger problems than a former brothel owner......c'mon HM, him bragging about that in itself, has got to tell you a LOT about this person's character. True or not, you don't need that type of person hanging around you (he either has a lack of moral standards, or he's a liar; neither of which are worth being around.....at least IMO ).

[HeinekenMan]

I should clarify. He is not a coach for the travel team. He is a coach for my rec team.

It seems like the best thing to do is to tell him that I don't need his help with the rec team and that he needs to sit down and butt out with regard to the travel team. Then, when the eight-week season is up, I will have the opportunity to cut all ties. At that time, I'll make a call regarding his son's involvement with the travel team. That will be based on how things go during these eight weeks.

[mudvnine]

Rec. ball, travel ball, it really doesn't matter what kind of ball it is.....regardless, you don't need that kind of guy around, much less "coaching".

[dominik]

Special K sounds like a guy that you need to find a task he is good at and have him focus on that one thing, so that you and the other coach can manage the team. But you need to be the one who decides what that task will be, not him.

absolutely. I think he is the type of guy that can be very valuable and motivated if he gets the right task but tends to drift away and fools around when he gets nothing to do. sounds like all those ADD kids today. find some tasks for him but not some time filling but real tasks.

[HeinekenMan]

Well, Special K called me yesterday to say that he wouldn't be at practice. It was my best practice ever. So we didn't exactly suffer without him. After practice, he texted me to say that there are some problems that "arose". For all I know, he's reading this thread and has realized that maybe he needs to make some changes. Or maybe it's something else. He mentioned a few weeks ago that he and his girlfriend were having issues. He also has mentioned meeting with his kids' mother a few times. I'm not sure why they met.

We have a scrimmage tonight, and he says he's going to miss it. He mentioned that his boy really likes me. I really like his boy, too. He's a good kid. He just has some focus issues and needs to learn to hustle a little more. I'm not sure what's up. He's bringing coffee by the house this morning.

I'm going to be straight with this guy, I think. I am going to tell him that some of the things he has said and done have been problematic. I'm going to give him the opportunity to disclose why he acts as he does. Perhaps he needs psychological help and knows it. Perhaps he has a drug problem. If he's coming to me, it seems like he wants my help. I'm a fairly magnanimous fella. I want to help people. At the same time, I don't want to get too deep into another person's problems if it's going to lead to a lot of hassle or generate hostile feelings.

Most importantly, I'm going to give him an out. I'm going to find a way for him to step away from the coaching role without it seeming like I'm pushing him out. I hope he sees the out and takes it. Despite his obvious problems, I think he's mostly a nice guy who means well. And I think he wants to be involved. I can find a way for him to contribute. I can use his help. I just need to show him the boundaries and explain which areas are off limits.

[HeinekenMan]

Before our first fall ball game, I met with a coach and discussed with him my game plan for dealing with Special K. That included making sure Special K knows that I'm the third-base coach and will provide the hitting instruction. I'm also the pitching coach and will talk with the pitchers. I told him to relay any information he wants to share with a player through me. That way, I can filter his nonsense and still make him feel that he's contributing. And he just might have some good advice now and then.

I think he understands now that there is a line that he should not cross. And he's okay with that. I think he may feel a little hurt. It seems that he thought we had a great friendship. I consider him a friend. But he's that friend who can aggravate you at times.

As I mentioned before, my travel team's assistant coach rails about how much he dislikes Special K's son. But I feel that this kid deserves a spot on the team. He's 10 and hit a ball about 200 feet a few weeks ago at a tournament. He has a good bat. His defense and arm strength are terrible. But I'm willing to work with him. I got the green light from Special K to holler at his son when he's not paying attention or is not hustling. So I've been doing that. And the kid really likes me, from what his dad says.

So, on Sunday, we were ahead 11-7 late in the second game of a doubleheader for our travel team. Special K's boy was in center field. My assistant coach's son was pitching and was having trouble throwing strikes. We talked about who to put into the game, and I brought up Special K's son. He didn't think that was such a good idea. But I sensed that this was an opportunity to boost that kid's confidence and gain his respect. After another walk, the other coach told me to put in whoever I wanted. We had been beating this team 11-3 at the start of that inning. It was slipping away. The bases were loaded.

I walked to the mound and took the ball from Jake. I called in Special K's boy. He's such a bad fielder that I had a talk with the second baseman about backing up the catcher's throws back to the mound. Meanwhile, my assistant coach went to the shortstop and told him we'd put him back in to pitch if we needed to close out the game. Ye of little faith!

Special K's boy, who doesn't throw hard but throws strikes, struck out the first batter on four pitches. He got the next batter out on a liner to second base. Sure, it was very nearly a double in the gap and could have made it 11-10. But that kid had a huge grin all the way to the car, and Special K was a proud papa. Frankly, I'm glad I have given Special K a lot of slack. His boy needs a good coach. The day before, he missed a slow roller to first and cost our fall ball team three runs. He also struck out twice in the No. 4 spot. I was disappointed, but he's just a kid. It was no big deal. Special K said he took his son's XBox privileges away. I told him to let his son play games. I told him to go easy on his son and to let me be the mean guy.

Sometimes, I feel like this is my calling. And sometimes I hear criticism because I lost track of the pitch count on some kid. Sometimes, I wonder whether I should just sit in the bleachers and stop putting up with the ornery little kids and overbearing and sometimes mentally unbalanced parents. I guess it depends on who you ask. For now, though, I'm going to listen to the awkward kid, said by many parents to be the worst player on the team, who got mugged on the mound by his teammates on Sunday, the day that our travel team won it first game. I'm getting old. I forget a lot of things. But I'll never forget that moment, and I imagine Special K and his boy will take that memory with them to their graves, too.