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  • Funniest Card Captions and Funniest Card Photos...

    What are your top five in each category? I'll start out with captions in descending order...

    5. 2005 Topps Kole Strayhorn. The fireballing reliever then playing in the Mets organization noted that "I was really excited to see I'd been traded. Even if they called me 'Kyle'." I'll admit, this one has to do with a dislike of ESPN and a general sloppiness correctly spelling player names in trades (anyone remember "Royce King" [Ring] or "Octavio Dotell" [Dotel] last year?), but it's pretty funny to hear it quoted from the player himself.

    4. 2003 Topps Traded Eider Torres. Perhaps the only card in history to describe a player...ANY player...as being "Smurf-like."

    3. 1964 Topps Red Sox Rookies Archie Skeen/Pete Smith. The caption for Skeen not only notes that he's retired, but also goes into great detail on his new teaching job. Seeing as it was a higher numbered card (#428), perhaps Topps could have replaced Skeen with someone else?

    2. T212 Obak Ten Million. And no, not because it features a guy who has the misfortune of being named "Ten Million," either. It begins by saying "Ten Million is a nifty ballplayer..." In all fairness, I don't know what connotations the word "nifty" had back then. But God, it struck me as hilarious.

    1. 1964 Topps Phillies Rookies Rick Wise/Dave Bennett. By a huge margin, too. In the description of Dave Bennett, the first sentence properly notes he's the younger brother of Dennis Bennett. The second could only be put together by a Topps writer..."The 19-year old righthanded curveballer is just 18 years old!"

    Honorable Mention: 1993 Topps Derek Wallace. I haven't seen this one mentioned anywhere, but noting "Derek is a right-handed flamethrower armed with a fastball that travels at 90 mph" doesn't seem to make sense. The same could be said of El Duque when he first arrived. However, I'll give Topps a bit of a pass on this one because they also noted that Wallace was a draft pick and had just been drafted. I also seem to recall Wallace throwing a little harder than that when he was with the Mets in the mid 90's.

    Now, top five funniest card photos (note that I'm leaving out instances where the player was fooling the photographer...i.e. 1959 Topps Lew Burdette and 1965 Topps Bob Uecker)...

    5. 2004 Donruss Elite Extra Edition Nick Adenhart. The rookie card of the Angels phenom hurler shows (get ready for it) his high school picture. Supposedly, Donruss couldn't find another photo of Adenhart when their set began printing and the high school photo was a stand-in. But still, it looks ridiculous.

    4. 1969 Topps Tommy John. Sometimes Topps photos of the 1960's were obvious poses. This was the only one that was PAINFULLY obvious. The photo shows John, then with the White Sox, in a follow-through pose where it looks like he's just delivered a pitch. But wait, what's that white, spherical thing held firmly in his glove?

    3. All of the 1886-1890 N172 Old Judge Cigarettes cards. These would be worse, but consider the time they were made in. The backgrounds were usually cardboard (with some of the Brooklyn and California League players being exceptions, with most of them being taken outside), and very often players were swinging their bats at baseballs hung on strings, reclining "into" a base when they were supposed to be sliding, and then there's the card of Art Whitney petting a dog. But as I said, you have to take these cards in the context on the period they were made in.

    2 (Tie). 1969 Topps Aurelio Rodriguez. I said I'd avoid cards where players tried fooling the photographer, but the '69 Topps Aurelio Rodriguez deserves special mention. Aurelio decided to fool the photographers not by switching his handedness, but by sending the Angels batboy out in his place. And Topps fell for it.

    2 (Tie). 1985 Topps Gary Pettis. The exact same thing happened as with Aurelio Rodriguez in 1969, but Gary Pettis puts his younger brother up to the task of subbing for him.

    1. 1972 Topps Billy Martin. This is the card where Billy, then manager of the Tigers, flipped the photographer (and by virtue everyone collecting the set) the bird.

    Let's hear the opinions of everyone else!
    "They put me in the Hall of Fame? They must really be scraping the bottom of the barrel!"
    -Eppa Rixey, upon learning of his induction to the Baseball Hall of Fame.

    Motafy (MO-ta-fy) vt. -fied, -fying 1. For a pitcher to melt down in a big game situation; to become like Guillermo Mota. 2. The transformation of a good pitcher into one of Guillermo Mota's caliber.

  • #2
    I cannot remember the year, and possibly this is my mind playing tricks on me after re-reading Ball Four endless times. However, I'm convinced that I remember a Steve Barber card where the Topps writer put, "Steve missed half of XXXX with a sore arm!" All right!

    My personal favorite goofy photo is Bill Hepler, 1967. He was a skinny kid of 21 who looked about 15. He had jug ears and everything including his cap was too big for him.
    Attached Files
    Last edited by VIBaseball; 02-20-2008, 07:11 PM.

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    • #3
      Funniest photo is the one where the photographer moved around until he positioned a drain pipe at the spring training facility right between Bill Buckner's heels
      Mythical SF Chronicle scouting report: "That Jeff runs like a deer. Unfortunately, he also hits AND throws like one." I am Venus DeMilo - NO ARM! I can play like a big leaguer, I can field like Luzinski, run like Lombardi. The secret to managing is keeping the ones who hate you away from the undecided ones. I am a triumph of quantity over quality. I'm almost useful, every village needs an idiot.
      Good traders: MadHatter(2), BoofBonser26, StormSurge

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Dalkowski110 View Post
        What are your top five in each category? I'll start out with captions in descending order...
        1. 1964 Topps Phillies Rookies Rick Wise/Dave Bennett. By a huge margin, too. In the description of Dave Bennett, the first sentence properly notes he's the younger brother of Dennis Bennett. The second could only be put together by a Topps writer..."The 19-year old righthanded curveballer is just 18 years old!"
        I must own this card before I die. You have given me purpose in life.
        CLEVELAND INDIANS Central Division Champions

        1920 1948 1954 1995 1996 1997 1998 1999 2001 2007

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Dalkowski110 View Post
          What are your top five in each category? I'll start out with captions in descending order...

          1. 1964 Topps Phillies Rookies Rick Wise/Dave Bennett. By a huge margin, too. In the description of Dave Bennett, the first sentence properly notes he's the younger brother of Dennis Bennett. The second could only be put together by a Topps writer..."The 19-year old righthanded curveballer is just 18 years old!"
          Big deal, there are plenty of Latino players that have claimed similar things
          Mythical SF Chronicle scouting report: "That Jeff runs like a deer. Unfortunately, he also hits AND throws like one." I am Venus DeMilo - NO ARM! I can play like a big leaguer, I can field like Luzinski, run like Lombardi. The secret to managing is keeping the ones who hate you away from the undecided ones. I am a triumph of quantity over quality. I'm almost useful, every village needs an idiot.
          Good traders: MadHatter(2), BoofBonser26, StormSurge

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          • #6
            Funniest Card for me is the 1989 Fleer Bill Ripken card, where on the knob of the bat, F***k Face is written and is very visible
            sigpic
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            http://www.freewebs.com/joesttmandipautographs/

            2009 Orioles: 60/60 100% ... So Far

            Trusted Traders: Mike D., Zito75, MadHatter, icecool1994, Coachsmallhead, The Commisioner, Kearns643, Edsachs1, chucksk8er, Rockhound, KidCavalier23, Extra Innings

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            • #7
              Here are a few vintage cards......

              1887 N172 Tom Gunning
              1910 T212-2 Ten Million
              1910 T210 Benny
              1913 E136 Leard
              1919 E137 Fatty Arbuckle (owner of Vernon PCL)
              Attached Files
              Vintage PreWar/19th Century Cards BUY/SELL/TRADE

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              • #8
                Good selections so far! The card of Tommy Gunning should give everyone a pretty good idea about what your average N172 Old Judge card was like in terms of photo quality (I also think the card of Joe Visner "fielding" a ball...in other words, standing over it and not even looking at it...deserves mention as "especially bad"). Then again, Buchner Gold Coin tobacco released a set where they just had generic player drawings that in some cases were reused but still labelled as a particular player of a particular team. The cards of Benny and Leard are also unintentionally hilarious. Then-famed comedian Fatty Arbuckle's card was supposed to be funny, though it does a good job of succeeding. As for Ten Million...you could make a similar case for guys like Van Lingle Mungo or Wonderful Terrific Monds. I still think the back of that card calling him a "nifty" ballplayer makes it as a silly caption, though.

                I had heard the 1978 Grand Slam set (a worthless collector's issue that is however pretty nice for autographs) featured Smoky Joe Wood with his pants ripped near his crotch, but after having looked at the card in person (obtained a signed card with a GAI COA, I plan on sending to PSA/DNA), I can't really tell.
                "They put me in the Hall of Fame? They must really be scraping the bottom of the barrel!"
                -Eppa Rixey, upon learning of his induction to the Baseball Hall of Fame.

                Motafy (MO-ta-fy) vt. -fied, -fying 1. For a pitcher to melt down in a big game situation; to become like Guillermo Mota. 2. The transformation of a good pitcher into one of Guillermo Mota's caliber.

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                • #9
                  I don't recall the player, but I think it was in the 1984 Fleer set in which the card back listed among the player's qualities that he was credited with corralling a wild dog or dogs in a ballpark.

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                  • #10
                    Hey, flyingdutchdude.... were there Harley-Davidsons back in 1910?? That's obviously what that Benny character is riding in pantomime.
                    Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours. - Yogi Berra

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                    • #11
                      Here's a website I checked out once and got a few chuckles. Click on the links underneath the Chan Ho Park card for more...

                      http://funnycards.bravehost.com/funny.html
                      Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours. - Yogi Berra

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                      • #12
                        I forgot the '84 Fleer Hubbard and Johnstone cards. Also Andy Ashby goes fishing. Also, 1998 Topps Billy Wagner has him with a fireman's helmet holding a fire extinguisher (back when "fireman" still meant "closer"). In 1999, Brian L. Hunter is tip-toeing past the camera with a base under his arm and a Zorro mask over his eyes (base stealer). But IMO, the most bizarre photographer's trick was 1976 Topps Jesus Alou. Jesus, then playing for the Mets, ripped off his cap logo and then stitched it on backwards.

                        I also forgot 1999 SP Top Prospects Drew Henson, which shows the multitalented Henson juggling two basesballs and a football. 1952 Topps Gus Zernial seems bizarre now, but was actually an ode to a then-well-known game where Zernial belted six hits. I forgot about 1992 Upper Deck Collector's Choice Roger McDowell. Water guns AND a camera! The famous 1976 Topps Kurt Bevacqua Bazooka Bubble Gum Contest card was intended as a humrous insert and still holds some value. I must say Ken Griffey, Jr. looks a tad more expressive on his Pinnacle card, though.

                        A card not mentioned on that page with the "gloves on hats" is 2007 Bowman either Lance Berkman (I think) or Craig Biggio.
                        "They put me in the Hall of Fame? They must really be scraping the bottom of the barrel!"
                        -Eppa Rixey, upon learning of his induction to the Baseball Hall of Fame.

                        Motafy (MO-ta-fy) vt. -fied, -fying 1. For a pitcher to melt down in a big game situation; to become like Guillermo Mota. 2. The transformation of a good pitcher into one of Guillermo Mota's caliber.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          One of my all time favorite cards is...

                          Is the Topps bubble gum bubble contest winner card featuring Kurt Bevaqua. I think it was 1976.

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                          • #14
                            I've always liked the 1968 Larry Haney card along with his 1969 Evil Twin.
                            Attached Files

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                            • #15
                              I don't remember the player, except that I think it was a catcher, but there was a 1968 or 1969 Topps card showing a player, that used a very old photo. It was taken at the Polo Grounds, so at the time the photo was 5-6 years old!
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                              What's THAT guy doing?
                              - one of the YES Network broadcasters, after the camera cut to me doing the thumbs-down after Todd Frazier's home run

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