The Bitter Rivals Thread

[Mattingly]

Well . . . Most parents teach their children right from wrong, what's good and bad . . .

I was fortunate . . . (Sox fan)

and you Matt . . . not so much . . . (Yankee fan)

So long as EVIL wins more often than once every 86 years, I'll take EVIL over GOOD any day now.

Let's see ... Haley's Comet = once every 76 years, which is about 3-4 generations.

Beantown winning the Big Dance = once every 86 years.

Now then, if Haley's Comet appears in 2014, you'll know for a fact that in 2090, it will fall smack dab in the middle of Center Field, where Coco Crisp the 5th will run like heck to avoid it, and it will land on the Ghost of Schill's Bloody Sock.

Curt Schill the 6th will have pitched it, Albert Pujols the 5th would have smacked it hard, and you folks will be cursed for *ANOTHER* 86 years. No WS champeenship fer Beantown Nation!

Hiya, Ken! :gt

[CuriousBoston]

That's not the way it went

It is good for Boston that Epstein is back. But I think it is strange that after he left, he can come crawl back and is reinstated like the lost son. If I was the management of the Sox, I would have said: '' Get out of my sight.'' But that is only my ''humble'' opinion.

Theo and LeisureSuit Larry had a difference of opinion. Theo wouldn't put up with Larry's poor philosophy and second guessing any more. There were many "spirited discussions" aka fights. Theo, thankfully, prevailed, and he is in charge of Baseball Operations, meaning no more second guessing from the LeisureSuit. i believe most Boston fans feel like me: Welcome Back Theo, now let us hope John Henry keeps Larry roped in.

He certainly did not come crawling back. He came back on his own terms.

[trosmok]

Old whatsisname

What could possibly make a parent do that to their child?

Unique names, given or otherwise are highly prized in the entertainment/sports business. Rumor has it Coach Krzyzewski is so tired of people mispronouncing and spelling his name, he will announce this evening he has changed his name to K-Diddy. Now back to your regularly scheduled rivalry thread; Epstein, Horshack, Steinbrenner, and the rest of Kotter's sweathogs.

[SoxSon]

Theo and LeisureSuit Larry had a difference of opinion. Theo wouldn't put up with Larry's poor philosophy and second guessing any more. There were many "spirited discussions" aka fights. Theo, thankfully, prevailed, and he is in charge of Baseball Operations, meaning no more second guessing from the LeisureSuit. i believe most Boston fans feel like me: Welcome Back Theo, now let us hope John Henry keeps Larry roped in.

He certainly did not come crawling back. He came back on his own terms.

Am I the only one who doesn't believe that Theo ever left, really?

[Mattingly]

Am I the only one who doesn't believe that Theo ever left, really?

Beantown-to-English, as explained by a Yankee fan to a Beantowner:

LEISURE SUIT LARRY: Well if ya don't like this job, then git!

KID THEO: Ahm' a gittin'! *slams door behind him*

LLL: *Hires a pair of bookends to collect a paycheck and pretend to look good.*

KT: *Reads the Globe, hopes that the newbies make crazy trades so that he'll look good even in absence.*

LLL: Oh my goshkies, we've lost our CF and nobody's there to play SS. What will we ever do?

JOHN HENRY: Well then, get on the phone and hire that young kid, what'shisface. Bring him back here!

LLL: Do I have to?

JH: Yes, or you'll be out the same door with him!

LLL: Okay. *slurps some Manhattan clam chowder, a true sign of the enemy*. THE-OOOOO! GET IN HERE!

KT: OK, I'm here. What do you want me to do?

LLL: Quick, sign here and get back to your old desk and for your old job and salary.

KT: Okay. *scribbles his name in illegibly, just in case*

LLL: Now get us Coco, even if you need another team to complete that trade.

KT: Done. What else?

LLL: That's it. Don't want anyone thinking that nobody's in charge here. Best of luck.

RSN: Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, Theo's back! :gt

======================

So goes the mad adventures of Leisure Suit Larry and Kid Theo. Story at 11.

[Mattingly]

THIS JUST IN!

A family of Red Sox fans heads out one Saturday to shop for the youngest boy's birthday. While in the sports shop, the son picks up a Yankees jersey and says to his older sister, "I've decided to become a Yankees fan and I would like this Yankees jersey for my birthday."

His big sister is outraged by this and promptly whacks him upside his head and says, "Go talk to mother!" Off goes the little lad with the jersey in hand and finds his mother.

"Mom?"

"Yes, son?"

"I've decided I'm going to be a Yankees fan and I would like this jersey for my birthday."

The mother is outraged at this, promptly whacks him around the head and says, "Go talk to your father!" Off he goes with the Yankees jersey in hand and finds his father.

"Dad?"

"Yes, son?"

"I've decided I'm going to be a Yankees fan and I would like this jersey for my birthday."

The father is outraged and promptly whacks his son in the back of his head and says, "No son of mine is ever going to be seen in THAT!"

About half an hour later they're all back in the car and heading towards home. The father turns to his son and says "Son, I hope you've learned something today."

The son says, "Yes, Dad, I have."

"Good, son, what is it?"

The son replies, "I've only been a Yankees fan for an hour, and I already hate you Red Sox ********."

[KenFougere]

In your dreams . . . {maybe}!

THIS JUST IN!

A family of Red Sox fans heads out one Saturday to shop for the youngest boy's birthday. While in the sports shop, the son picks up a Yankees jersey and says to his older sister, "I've decided to become a Yankees fan and I would like this Yankees jersey for my birthday."

Talk about your fiction . . .

[wilkerson_rulz-06]

IT's incredible this thread has been on since '02!

[Mattingly]

IT's incredible this thread has been on since '02!

We intend to keep it alive until the 3 millionth post in 2090 or so, when Ken Fougere the 5th celebrates Beantown having a 7th ring.

[Yankeebiscuitfan]

We intend to keep it alive until the 3 millionth post in 2090 or so, when Ken Fougere the 5th celebrates Beantown having a 7th ring.

How much will WE have by then? About 22 more...?

[Mattingly]

How much will WE have by then? About 22 more...?

Let's see now ... yup, just about. I've divided 26 rings into 102 years of Proud Yankee Heritage and came up with:

0.254901961

I multiplied this by the difference between 2090 and 2006 (84 years) and got this:

21.41176471 (number of extra pieces of shiny jewelry)

Now then, if the Yanks win #27 in 2006, the equation must be recalibrated! :gt

Talk about your fiction . . .

It's been a quality tradition from George Herman Ruth, Jr, passed down to the current disciples, as in Johnny David Damon.

Now then, please pass me my Yankee cap.

[CuriousBoston]

Geez....

First, that's a very, very, old story, I think I've read at last twenty versions on this site alone. Second, the Yankees are last century. Last century. Boston-B won, Chicago-C won, It's gonna be quite a while before Boston south, aka, NYY wins again.

Is it true the Yankees are going to be the Old Timers team this year, since their average age is older than the Old Timers?

[trosmok]

It's not the years, it's the mileage

Is it true the Yankees are going to be the Old Timers team this year, since their average age is older than the Old Timers?

Is it true you can't teach and old Yankee new tricks? The average age for the starting lineup, four starters and closer, by my lightning calculations, is 32.786 years. Heard those guys are so old, they could sleep in the swamps by Legends Field without mosquito netting.

[SoxSon]

Is it true you can't teach and old Yankee new tricks? The average age for the starting lineup, four starters and closer, by my lightning calculations, is 32.786 years. Heard those guys are so old, they could sleep in the swamps by Legends Field without mosquito netting.

The Yanks are soooo old, that when God said let there be light, they're the ones who hit the switch.

[Mattingly]

The Yanks are soooo old, that when God said let there be light, they're the ones who hit the switch.

That's it, another 86 more years. You won't see nuttin' again until 2176! And not until.