We know baseball reference most similar players feature doesn't do a very good job. How about we do our own Most Similar To Us player? (this won't work well for you youngins not yet in your twenties)
Mine would be one of two.
Both of us called by the same first name
Both born in Ohio
Both born within three years of 1957
Both bat right
Both throw left
Both tall and fairly thin
I, like he, wouldn't have lasted long
Other one is
Both born in Ohio
Both born in the early 60s
Both born on the 31st of the month
Both bat right
Both throw left
Both tall and fairly thin
Both not good at striking out batters
I, like he, wouldn't have lasted long
Mine would be one of two.
Both of us called by the same first name
Both born in Ohio
Both born within three years of 1957
Both bat right
Both throw left
Both tall and fairly thin
I, like he, wouldn't have lasted long
Other one is
Both born in Ohio
Both born in the early 60s
Both born on the 31st of the month
Both bat right
Both throw left
Both tall and fairly thin
Both not good at striking out batters
I, like he, wouldn't have lasted long
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