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Great American Ballpark narrative

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  • Great American Ballpark narrative

    I have a video narrative I'm working on for the Reds 2010 division clincher.
    I have the writing finished, but I'd like to share it and see if there's anything more that I should add.
    Note: There might be a few grammar errors, but I plan on fixing them.

    Here's what I have so far:

    Through the years, the Cincinnati Reds have been one of baseball's great dynasties. They are known for being Major League Baseball's oldest franchise, they have twelve Hall of Famers, they hosted Major League Baseball's first night game and had the only pitcher in Major League history to throw consecutive no-hitters. And going into the 2010 season, they had won 8 division titles, 9 pennants and 5 World Series.
    However, since winning their last division title in 1995, they had been mostly a disappointment. Between 1996 and '98, they didn't win more than 81 games. Then in '99, they were one win away from winning the National League Wild Card on the final weekend of the season, but ended up in a one-game play-off, which they would lose to the New York Mets. For the next eight seasons, they would finish with a winning record only once and fans were wondering when they would contend again. Then after the 2007 season, the team signed Dusty Baker, who had had some great success managing the San Francisco Giants and the Chicago Cubs. In the next two years, the Reds finished with losing records, but showed signs of improvement as they won more games each season.
    Then came 2010, which was the 20th anniversary of the memorable 1990 team that finished the year wire to wire and won the franchise's last World Championship. And even though the Reds hadn't had a winning season since 2000, 2010 was gonna be a memorable one.
    The Reds got off to a fairly slow start, losing eight of their first thirteen games, but ended the month of April on a positive note, winning their last five. Then they would catch fire in May, winning eighteen games and finishing the month tied for first place with the St. Louis Cardinals.
    The Reds played .500 ball for the next two months, but would remain in the race, being only half a game out on July 31st.
    Then they would catch fire in August. After being swept by the Cardinals on August 11th, they fell out of first place, but would fin 14 of their next 18 and on September 1st, were leading the Central by 8 games. As the month progressed, they continued to hold their lead and on September 26th, had a six and a half game lead with the magic number for winning their division at two games. They defeated the San Diego Padres that day to narrow the number to one, but the Cardinals won that day as well.
    After an off-day, the Reds returned home to play the Houston Astros with a chance to clinch in front of their fans. Going into the day, about 17,000 tickets had been sold for that night's game, but shortly before it started, more than 13,000 people had shown up to purchase tickets at the gate and by the middle of the game, the attendance had reached over 30,000 and the fans were ready to see their team clinch their first division title in fifteen years.

    Reds starter Edinson Volquez held Houston scoreless in the first.
    Then in the bottom half, Drew Stubbs led off with a walk. He would reach third with two outs when Scott Rolen came to the plate. On a 3-2 count, Rolen hit a ground ball to third baseman Chris Johnson. It looked like the inning was over, but Johnson would throw the ball away and Stubbs would score to give Cincinnati a 1-0 lead.

    Then in the top of the 2nd, the Astros threatened. With runners on second and third and one out, Juan Castro singled to tie the game and Houston took the lead on a squeeze bunt by Wandy Rodriguez.
    The Astros threatened again in the top of the third when Carlos Lee launched a fly ball into deep center field and it looked like Houston had another run, but Drew Stubbs would make a spectacular leaping catch against the fence, reaching his glove over the wall to take a home run away.
    Volquez then settled down and held the Astros scoreless for the next four innings.
    However, Wandy Rodriguez had kept the Reds bats in check as well, as the Astros held a 2-1 lead going into the 6th.
    After Volquez got out of a jam in the top half, the Reds threatened in the bottom half. Orlando Cabrera and Joey Votto led off with singles and Scott Rolen came to the plate. He would work the count to three and two and with the crowd on its feet, would walk to load the bases. Jonny Gomes then came up when Rodriguez got to two balls and two strikes. Gomes would pop up for the first out, and then Brandon Phillips came up. Rodriguez would work the count two balls and two strikes again and it looked like he might get out of the inning when Phillips hit a weak ground ball toward third base. Shortstop Angel Sanchez got a glove on the ball, but had no play, and Cabrera crossed the plate with the tying run.
    The Reds still had the bases loaded with a chance to take the lead when Jay Bruce came up, but Bruce would hit into an inning-ending double play and the game remained tied.

    Then in the bottom of the 7th, Stubbs came to the plate with two out and nobody on and doubled to left. Cabrera then came up with a chance to give Cincinnati the lead and put them within six outs of the crown, but would pop out to end the inning.

    The game remained tied in the 9th when 22-year-old phenom Aroldis Chapman came in to pitch. Chapman was a Cuban defector the Reds had signed during the off-season. Before making his Major League debut on August 31st, there was a lot of hype surrounding him, as he was known to have a fastball that reached 103 miles per hour. His first Major League pitch was clocked at 98 and he would strike out his first Major League hitter. He threw a scoreless inning that night and for the next several weeks would continue to live up to the hype, as he blew hitters away with a fastball that reached up to a Major League record 105 mph. And the crowd was hoping his heat would hold the Astros at bay in the 9th.
    Chris Johnson led off and got to two balls and two strikes when Chapman blew him away. Then Jason Michaels came up and got the count to two and two. And just like Johnson, he wouldn't stand a chance, swinging and missing for strike three. With two outs, Angel Sanchez came up. On a 1-1 pitch, he made contact, but would hit a weak ground ball to shortstop Orlando Cabrera to end the inning.

    In the bottom half, Tim Byrdak came in to pitch, hoping to force extra innings and his first batter was Jay Bruce, hoping to atone for the double play he hit into in the 6th.
    When Bruce came to the Majors during the 2008 season, he started his Major League career with a bang, hitting .577 in his first full week and would finish 5th in the National League Rookie of the Year balloting. For the next two years, he continued producing steady power numbers, but going into 2010, no one knew that he would provide one of the most historic moments in franchise history that year. On the first pitch, he lifted a fly ball to deep center field that kept carrying and landed over the fence for a home run, winning the game 3-2 and giving Cincinnati their 9th division title. The crowd of 30,151 went into a frenzy as Bruce circled the bases and he was mobbed by his teammates as he crossed home plate. It was the most joyous day for Reds fans since their team won the 1995 National League Division Series, as they continued to cheer them on, while the players celebrated on the field.

    The Reds would go on to win 91 games that year, the same number they won when winning the World Series in '90, but would lose to the Philadelphia Phillies in the Division Series. However, the season was an overall triumph, as the Reds had accomplished a lot more than many people had expected and had given their fans many exciting moments. And with all the talent they have, the Reds look like a team that'll contend for years to come.

  • #2
    I like how you describe the game clincher, especially the bit on Jay Bruce. But, in regards to the whole season recap, Votto's development into a superstar shouldn't be missed. I'd also mention how great Rolen was all season after many thought he was done as a player for the most part.
    Dave Bill Tom George Mark Bob Ernie Soupy Dick Alex Sparky
    Joe Gary MCA Emanuel Sonny Dave Earl Stan
    Jonathan Neil Roger Anthony Ray Thomas Art Don
    Gates Philip John Warrior Rik Casey Tony Horace
    Robin Bill Ernie JEDI

    Comment


    • #3
      Thanks for the info. Because I've already written a lot of insight, I decided to posted the video, but I appreciate what you suggested and have it posted in the description. If you or anyone else have any season highlights to suggest, feel free to and I'll add them as well.
      You can view the video here:
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7cmPrNDPBI

      Comment


      • #4
        Overall, a nice product. Lots of good information.
        Dave Bill Tom George Mark Bob Ernie Soupy Dick Alex Sparky
        Joe Gary MCA Emanuel Sonny Dave Earl Stan
        Jonathan Neil Roger Anthony Ray Thomas Art Don
        Gates Philip John Warrior Rik Casey Tony Horace
        Robin Bill Ernie JEDI

        Comment


        • #5
          Something you might want to consider would be to add more feel/emotion to the overall product. There's a lot of great information in what you have written and a lot of detail, which only one who would've been at the game would understand. However, I think that if you're trying to create something that would be more meaningful to a wider audience, you should add more adjectives (for lack of a better term). Talk about how it felt to be there, what the weather was like, maybe some interaction with other fans in the stadium, walking around the concourse, etc... Talk about feeling in the stadium as soon as the ball left Bruce's bat, for example, not just after it landed in the stands. Make it so people, in their minds, could almost feel like they were there at the game, watching it with the 30,000 other fans. Just a small tidbit from a fellow writer. I'm not sure that is the kind of story you are looking for or if it is purely information that you are trying to portray. It could be fun.

          Comment


          • #6
            I suggest removing the comment about the Reds being the Majors oldest franchise. They seem to think they are but they aren't.

            Comment


            • #7
              ntorvik: Those are some great ideas. I'll keep them in mind. I've been doing ballpark narratives for three years, but I'm always open to new ideas and those will definitely be considered.

              EdTarbusz: Is that true? I could've sworn the oldest Major League franchise was the Reds. I heard it from a few sources.
              I'll have to correct that part. Thanks for the info.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Paladin Cecil View Post
                ntorvik: Those are some great ideas. I'll keep them in mind. I've been doing ballpark narratives for three years, but I'm always open to new ideas and those will definitely be considered.

                EdTarbusz: Is that true? I could've sworn the oldest Major League franchise was the Reds. I heard it from a few sources.
                I'll have to correct that part. Thanks for the info.
                The Cincinnati Red Stockings were the first professional franchise. That team essentially moved to Boston within a couple of years. The current Reds franchise can trace back to 1882, I believe. The Braves and Cubs have both been around since the dawning of the National League in 1876. Maybe the Phillies, as well.
                Dave Bill Tom George Mark Bob Ernie Soupy Dick Alex Sparky
                Joe Gary MCA Emanuel Sonny Dave Earl Stan
                Jonathan Neil Roger Anthony Ray Thomas Art Don
                Gates Philip John Warrior Rik Casey Tony Horace
                Robin Bill Ernie JEDI

                Comment


                • #9
                  I like it dude!! Good info.
                  My favorite team of all time was the 76 Reds. My god what a tram.
                  Baseball. The official sport of god.

                  Comment

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