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Marlins Want Fat Men Who Can Dance

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  • Marlins Want Fat Men Who Can Dance

    Source

    MIAMI (AP) - The Florida Marlins are looking for some footloose fat men. The National League team is creating an all-male, plus-size cheerleading squad to be dubbed the Manatees. Tryouts were scheduled for Sunday.

    The team hopes to recruit seven to 10 tubby men to dance, cheer and jiggle during Friday and Saturday home games this season.

    Real manatees, 1,200-pound mammals sometimes referred to as "sea cows," are not considered the most agile of creatures and often get caught in boat propellers.

    The Marlins want their Manatees to have the same dimensions, but to be decidedly more agile. Men will be judged on how well they dance a choreographed routine.

    The Marlins already have a cheerleading squad, the considerably more svelte Mermaids.

    Men selected for the Manatees won't be paid. They'll get tickets to games they perform at, and the honor of dancing in front of crowds that have been smallest in major league baseball for the last two seasons.

    The Marlins aren't the only pro sports team capitalizing on Americans' expanding waistlines. The Chicago Bulls basketball team have the Matadors, a big-man dance troupe that's entertained fans at home games since 2003.

    And although cheerleaders might be an unfamiliar site in baseball, big men aren't, as fans have long cheered on the likes of Babe Ruth and Kirby Puckett.

    =======================

    Where do I sign up?

  • #2
    Yea, this is a great idea.
    It will be such a bonding type moment when a father has to explain to his young son why the cheerleader colapsed and paramedics are performing CPR. Uh huh, great idea.

    baseballaftersteroids.jpg

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    • #3
      And the Marlins franchise just gets uglier....

      Terrible idea.
      :cap:

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      • #4
        It may be me, but all 200 people who go too the games, won't want to go any more.

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        • #5
          Funny, all 3 of the replies were from people with Mets themes for avatars.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by SwampBass View Post
            Funny, all 3 of the replies were from people with Mets themes for avatars.
            Wanna make it four?????
            X
            What's THAT guy doing?
            - one of the YES Network broadcasters, after the camera cut to me doing the thumbs-down after Todd Frazier's home run

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            • #7
              Go Marlins . Jays fans are always here for ya no matter what you guys do.

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              • #8
                Loria should focus on building a team, instead of dealing with this kind of BS.

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                • #9
                  What do Loria and building teams have to do with each other???

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                  • #10
                    It's not like Loria sits up at night thinking of these things. The Marlins have both a marketing department and a GM, who focus on their respective duties.
                    RIP - HGF [1937-2009]

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by brewcrew82 View Post
                      It's not like Loria sits up at night thinking of these things. The Marlins have both a marketing department and a GM, who focus on their respective duties.
                      Sure. But I think he will have the final word in things like this. Or doesn't he?

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                      • #12
                        Ah, this brings to mind the infamous "Truffle Shuffle" from the Goonies. Lovely.

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                        • #13
                          Chunk haha!
                          "I see no reason why a small-market team like the Twins or Expos can't continue to remain competitive, just because it lacks players," Selig said.

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