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Abreau Trade Rumor

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  • Androctus
    replied
    Like most other Suck-asses who have departed our faithful pinstripes and gone on to brilliant careers, Chavez will now be able to hit .340

    Leave a comment:


  • ed hardiman
    replied
    Originally posted by donzblock
    "Losing Endy Chavez was a crusher, but thank goodness my skull is thick enough to plug the hole created by Endy's departure."
    I feel like a 1919 Bostonian...Day one of the "Curse of the Endy."
    85 more years til we win the World Series...

    Leave a comment:


  • donzblock
    replied
    Apparently Abreu is not going to be traded, his ability to hit in the clutch and his legendary Gold Glove notwithstanding.

    "We are delighted to be given the opportunity to retain Bobby Abreu," said Pat Gillick at a hastily called news conference. "To be honest with you, we never wanted to get rid of him but felt we had to make the attempt to satisfy certain fans. Thank goodness my predecessor signed him to a contract that practically guarantees he will die a Phillie!"

    When asked if he was contemplating other moves, Gillick replied: "For 2006, we feel our team will be stronger if we can retain Mike Lieberthal and David Bell. Losing Endy Chavez was a crusher, but thank goodness my skull is thick enough to plug the hole created by Endy's departure."

    Leave a comment:


  • donzblock
    replied
    I can hear one of the songs right now: "Spring time for Bill Giles in Alabam./ Winter for Philly and fans." It needs work.

    Leave a comment:


  • Androctus
    replied
    Rumor is they're making a broadway musical about the Phillies called "The Owners". Lyrics by Al Yankovic. Synopsis: The owners deliberately put together a team that will do so poorly they can relocate the franchise to Alabama. Hilarity ensues.

    Leave a comment:


  • ed hardiman
    replied
    Originally posted by donzblock
    ...he gives Giles a gentle push. Bill lands with a small town splash. He makes no more of a mess than would a small watermelon.
    Did anyone remember to call heads or tails?

    Leave a comment:


  • donzblock
    replied
    Every time Giles pops into mind, I have this vision of him walking the tightrope with Wallenda across Vet Stadium. In the middle of this stunt on a windy opening day, Wallenda pauses and pleads with the groundskeepers (who are now on the unfamilar territory of the roof) to tighten their grips. When it becomes clear to Wallenda that there is too much weight on the rope for the groundskeepers to deal with, he gives Giles a gentle push. Bill lands with a small town splash. He makes no more of a mess than would a small watermelon. It is cleaned up quickly. Wallenda completes his walk triumphantly and sips a victory martini. The cheers are deafening. Wallenda thinks they are for him.

    Leave a comment:


  • ed hardiman
    replied
    Who knows what evil lurks in the heart of Bill Giles...

    Leave a comment:


  • donzblock
    replied
    Things have clearly turned around for LP fan, but he is a lot smarter than the Phillies' management.

    Leave a comment:


  • ed hardiman
    replied
    Originally posted by LP fan
    Gillick's first move got me real pumped up....Thome gone, a good young outfielder brought in fresh from a World Series championship..
    But, this Franklin signing brought me, finally, to reality....
    why is Gillick, the architect of the Jays back-to-back WS, bothering to come to philly to be a puppet for the owners.....why not just retire and join Judway for drinks on the beach????
    Somewhere the phrases "french fry station assistant manager trainee Judway" and "make that grease trap sparkle" are used in tandem daily...LP look on the bright side there's still a slim chance Giles will get hit by a falling piano and things will turn around.

    Leave a comment:


  • LP fan
    replied
    Gillick's first move got me real pumped up....Thome gone, a good young outfielder brought in fresh from a World Series championship..

    But, this Franklin signing brought me, finally, to reality....
    why is Gillick, the architect of the Jays back-to-back WS, bothering to come to philly to be a puppet for the owners.....why not just retire and join Judway for drinks on the beach????

    Leave a comment:


  • donzblock
    replied
    Originally posted by LP fan
    Good News: Tejada now doesn't want to leave the Orioles. Our gold glover stays out there in right field.
    The real good news is that you, LP fan, have become a true Phillie fan.

    Leave a comment:


  • Ed Wade is God
    replied
    Tejada told the O's he doesn't want to be traded.

    Other teams should use the O's method for retaining players...tell them you're going to send them to the Phillies.

    Leave a comment:


  • LP fan
    replied
    Good News: Tejada now doesn't want to leave the Orioles. Our gold glover stays out there in right field.

    Leave a comment:


  • ed hardiman
    replied
    Originally posted by donzblock
    With the Phillies, it would be more accurate to say they sign players to play positions they can't. Michaels cannot play center, Abreu cannot play right, Burrell cannot play left, Bell cannot play third, Howard cannot play any position, Lieberthal cannot catch, a slew of pitchers cannot pitch, and Manuel sure as hell cannot manage.
    Don't forget the key point to your correct analysis:
    Most Phillies fans cannot discern the difference.

    Leave a comment:

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