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Back in the days when the Dodgers played in Brooklyn, there were lesser teams that also graced the borough's ballfields, including several squads populated by neighborhood celebrities who have appeared, however briefly, on these pages. If you were an avid reader here some years ago you may recall such stalwarts as Irwin Finkelstein, Fat Frank Losquadro, Phil Forelli, Red Mitgang, Dixie Fenichel, and other sandlot greats too numerous to mention. They, too, played the game, and I am both honored and proud to keep their names alive. But I digress.....
Do you remember, circa 1950, the Empires, the Torpedoes, Flatbush Pontiac, Charles Farkas Construction, the Canarsie Bluebirds? We in East Flatbush shared the glory of them all, spread over three leagues - two hardball, one softball - and that, neighbors (as the Old Redhead used to say), is where the trouble began. Fat Frank Losquadro's checkered career has been told elsewhere on this forum, but until this moment I have never revealed that he was at one point a bonafide member of all the aforementioned teams, simultaneously and at the same time. With the Empires and Torpedoes inhabiting the same league, Fat Frank negotiated with our revered commissioner (Abe Rosenberg, if you must know) to play half the game for each team when they competed head-to-head, a notion which, after extensive debate, was unanimously rejected by our governing body (the final vote: Abe 1, opposition 0). So Fat Frank, a catcher by trade, started for the Torpedoes on that fateful day. But when he took a called third strike with two men in scoring position in the top of the fifth, and vigorously disputed the call of the home plate umpire (also Abe Rosenberg, if you must know) with a selection of choice phrases from his extensive collection of colorful profanity, thereby embarrassing the women and children in the sparse audience, he was promptly tossed by Abe.
What followed is altogether predictable, but, I fear, must be told. Fat Frank flung his Torpedoes' cap in all directions, marched theatrically toward the opposition bench and announced to one and all that he was now playing for the Empires.
No, Fat Frank did not hit a game-winning home run in the bottom of the ninth - or was it the top of the ninth? Well, it doesn't matter - he didn't do it. In fact, the game ended right there in the fifth when Commissioner Abe Rosenberg could not make a valid ruling regarding Fat Frank's eligibility, even with the aid of the Official Baseball Rules summoned from his hip pocket. A discussion of considerable length ensued, with Abe changing his ruling more than once, both managers officially protesting the game, until the umpire-in-chief (that's Abe, one last time) dramatically intoned "I'm ruling this game No Contest." The league's bylaws were altered soon after, and the problem never occurred again.
By the way, did you ever hear the one about Willie Newsome being the lawyer for both sides in Judge McCoy's courtroom when Irwin Finkelstein sued Don Z Block for breaking his hand? I read about that right here. You could look it up.
Do you remember, circa 1950, the Empires, the Torpedoes, Flatbush Pontiac, Charles Farkas Construction, the Canarsie Bluebirds? We in East Flatbush shared the glory of them all, spread over three leagues - two hardball, one softball - and that, neighbors (as the Old Redhead used to say), is where the trouble began. Fat Frank Losquadro's checkered career has been told elsewhere on this forum, but until this moment I have never revealed that he was at one point a bonafide member of all the aforementioned teams, simultaneously and at the same time. With the Empires and Torpedoes inhabiting the same league, Fat Frank negotiated with our revered commissioner (Abe Rosenberg, if you must know) to play half the game for each team when they competed head-to-head, a notion which, after extensive debate, was unanimously rejected by our governing body (the final vote: Abe 1, opposition 0). So Fat Frank, a catcher by trade, started for the Torpedoes on that fateful day. But when he took a called third strike with two men in scoring position in the top of the fifth, and vigorously disputed the call of the home plate umpire (also Abe Rosenberg, if you must know) with a selection of choice phrases from his extensive collection of colorful profanity, thereby embarrassing the women and children in the sparse audience, he was promptly tossed by Abe.
What followed is altogether predictable, but, I fear, must be told. Fat Frank flung his Torpedoes' cap in all directions, marched theatrically toward the opposition bench and announced to one and all that he was now playing for the Empires.
No, Fat Frank did not hit a game-winning home run in the bottom of the ninth - or was it the top of the ninth? Well, it doesn't matter - he didn't do it. In fact, the game ended right there in the fifth when Commissioner Abe Rosenberg could not make a valid ruling regarding Fat Frank's eligibility, even with the aid of the Official Baseball Rules summoned from his hip pocket. A discussion of considerable length ensued, with Abe changing his ruling more than once, both managers officially protesting the game, until the umpire-in-chief (that's Abe, one last time) dramatically intoned "I'm ruling this game No Contest." The league's bylaws were altered soon after, and the problem never occurred again.
By the way, did you ever hear the one about Willie Newsome being the lawyer for both sides in Judge McCoy's courtroom when Irwin Finkelstein sued Don Z Block for breaking his hand? I read about that right here. You could look it up.
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