capturing 'the move' in a story

[justaravine]

i am a writer and my grandmother has recently been diagnosed with cancer, which brought me to reflect upon both she and my grandfather. one of my favorite stories about the two of them was of their first "tiff." they were recently married and living together and my grandfather had been listening to game seven against the yanks in the '52 series when she asked him to help her with dinner. he said that he wanted to be left alone to which she replied, "oh stop it. it's just a silly little game." need i say more?

well, with her illness and the emotions this story evokes for me, i found motivation to start writing a story for the screen wrapped around the '57 season. but there are some thing i just don't know. for example, i need a bar for protagonist to drink at. a dodger bar.

any stories or advice or rants about this story being told on screen, please do share. i anticipate much anger, maybe some celebration, to come from this story. just remember, you can't take away the brooklyn dodgers. in writing this, i have found they are still very much alive.

[zman]

my grandfather had been listening to game seven against the yanks in the '52 series when she asked him to help her with dinner. he said that he wanted to be left alone to which she replied, "oh stop it. it's just a silly little game." need i say more?

If the rest of your story has the same warmth and humor of that vignette it'll be a great one to tell and a wonderful way to honor your grandparents' relationship. I'll bet folks here can give you plenty of good advice on period details. Good luck. Don't know if this is any help but here's a link to a list of Brooklyn bars that was posted on this site. http://baseball-fever.com/showthread.php?t=16231

[Gotham]

My first advice to a "writer" is to follow proper use of capitals and punctuation. Saying you are a writer doesn't make it so.

[Brownie31]

My first advice to a "writer" is to follow proper use of capitals and punctuation. Saying you are a writer doesn't make it so.

Gotham: Is your advise retroactive for e.e. cummings? Brownie31

[Gotham]

Language is not anarchy. Communication is important. Like it or not, you will be judged on your grammar. Poetry is the language of the soul, however, you would not like it if the New York Times was written according to an artist's vision. Nice try though, Brownie.

[Brownie31]

Language is not anarchy. Communication is important. Like it or not, you will be judged on your grammar. Poetry is the language of the soul, however, you would not like it if the New York Times was written according to an artist's vision. Nice try though, Brownie.

Indeed, your point is well taken, Gotham. However, a screen play, at least to my way of thinking, falls more under artist's vision than journalism. Still, I meant no harm by my silly wisecrack. Welcome to baseball-fever! Brownie 31

[Gotham]

Indeed, your point is well taken, Gotham. However, a screen play, at least to my way of thinking, falls more under artist's vision than journalism. Still, I meant no harm by my silly wisecrack. Welcome to baseball-fever! Brownie 31

I also did not mean to be flippant. I empathize with JUSTARAVINE's love and sorrow. That whole intended message was almost lost to me because of the distraction of the writing. I know I am a nudge, I apologize. More importantly, ROLL TIDE......ROLL!!!!!!!

[justaravine]

I also did not mean to be flippant. I empathize with JUSTARAVINE's love and sorrow. That whole intended message was almost lost to me because of the distraction of the writing. I know I am a nudge, I apologize. More importantly, ROLL TIDE......ROLL!!!!!!!

gotham. get over it.

[runningshoes]

My first advice to a "writer" is to follow proper use of capitals and punctuation. Saying you are a writer doesn't make it so.

Not only did someone piss in your cornflakes, but you must have actually put a spoonful in your mouth, eh?

Welcome to BBF, justaravine. The members in the Dodgers forum are great people and will go out of their ways to help you.

Don't let this experience be any indiction of what it's actually like around here.

[Brownie31]

I also did not mean to be flippant. I empathize with JUSTARAVINE's love and sorrow. That whole intended message was almost lost to me because of the distraction of the writing. I know I am a nudge, I apologize. More importantly, ROLL TIDE......ROLL!!!!!!!

Well now Gotham, as to that last part: WAR EAGLE!!!!!!!! Brownie31

[justaravine]

Well now Gotham, as to that last part: WAR EAGLE!!!!!!!! Brownie31

sorry guys, but i have to admit i bleed cardinal and gold. FIGHT ON.

and how do you like that for punctuation, eh gotham?

[Brownie31]

sorry guys, but i have to admit i bleed cardinal and gold. FIGHT ON.

and how do you like that for punctuation, eh gotham?

justaravine: Please excuse my lack of knowledge, which school does the cardinal and gold refer to? Thanks for your help and good luck with your screen play. Brownie31

[justaravine]

justaravine: Please excuse my lack of knowledge, which school does the cardinal and gold refer to? Thanks for your help and good luck with your screen play. Brownie31

brownie, the school colors of usc are cardinal and gold. and, thank you for the e.e. cummings. it brought a smile to my face.

[justaravine]

My first advice to a "writer" is to follow proper use of capitals and punctuation. Saying you are a writer doesn't make it so.

gotham. what makes you the expert on what makes one a "writer?" would you consider both a b.a. and m.f.a. in english and creative writing expertise? if yes, it seems then, i would be the "expert." and also, without the "quotes," the writer.

[Brownie31]

brownie, the school colors of usc are cardinal and gold. and, thank you for the e.e. cummings. it brought a smile to my face.

Justaravine: You are quite welcome. Those Trojans are some grid machine! Brownie31